The KT Blog

Haaa

2006-12-12T02:33:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIP7djqpeK0

http://gctma.org/batoutofhell.html

Halloweeeen... a bit belated

2006-11-21T06:16:00.000-05:00

Panic! Beer Maid! Tranny! Snakes on a plane! Half/half man!

Greg emailed me a funny joke.

2006-11-17T16:31:00.000-05:00

The boss was in a quandary. He had to downsize somebody. He had it
narrowed down to one of two people: Becky or Jack.

It was an impossible decision. They were both super workers. Rather than
flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one to use the water
cooler the next morning.

Becky came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying
all night. She went to the water cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said, "Becky, I've never done this before,
but I have to either lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she said. "I feel like shit."

Yahoo for games!

2006-11-10T05:24:00.000-05:00

Got some time to kill? Try this on for size.

Ah what a day

2006-11-08T04:56:00.000-05:00

At nearly 5 am, I am finally getting ready for bed after a long day on the set. Not only was it a long day, it was a rainy long day. And not only real rain, but also fake rain, thanks to the big ass sprinklers brought in for the scene. Good times.

Clearly, there are two huge news stories of the day, and really, in the grand scheme of american life it's hard to say which one will be talked about more in the days to come. Of course I am referring to the Democratic take over of the House of Representatives (and possibly Senate) and the collapse of the Britney/K Fed marriage.

From what I hear, earlier today they were both given equal press on CNN.com. That is both sad and hilarious. But really, both things are very good news, I think.

And now, I shall be getting a bit of sleep, and giving myself a pat on the back for writing in the blog for two days in a row.

A new beginning

2006-11-06T17:47:00.000-05:00

I know that this might be premature, but I really want to try and start writing something every day. Even if it's short. And I'm not just talking about reposting im convos, cuz I know that is half assed. I really want to get my writing juices flowing again.

I know it's no excuse, but things have been a tad hectic in recent weeks. I usually write more in the blog when I'm bored and have nothing to do but sit and type away, so thusly, my schedule lately has not allowed much in the way of time for that. For the first time ever, I finally am doing work that I really really like. I've been working steadily the past couple months as a set production assistant.... first on the Adam Sandler movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" and then I worked one crazy night shoot on this weird ass Steven King movie called "1408" (apparently that movie stars JOhn Cusack and Samuel L Jackson, but they weren't there that night), and now for the past month I have been working on "Definitely, Maybe" which is a romantic comedy with a pretty sweet cast... Ryan Reynolds, Elizabeth Banks, Isla Fisher, Rachel Weisz, Abigail Breslin, Derek Luke, and Kevin Kline. Nobody who is uber-famous (although Rachel Weisz DID win an oscar last year), but they are all really great actors and I think this movie is actually going to be really good... and this comes from a chick who really really dislikes romantic comedies.

Alright, so enough about that boring crap (not that my work is boring, but I know that isn't why most of you come here to read this here piece of work). The im convo i recently posted about the Saturday night before Halloween should probably be addressed. I don't want people to think that I'm this shallow bitch who only will talk to a dude with a huge, porn star donger. While yes, I prefer a larger member (hence the optimism as to why I only purchase larger sized condoms), I certainly would not hesitate to make an exception for the right guy. But when it comes down to a one nighter, why waste a number on a guy who just doesn't measure up? I mean, if I'm really thinking about statistics here, only like 2 or 3 of the guys I have nailed have been guys I had just met and ended up sleeping with only once. And those guys were fucking worth it, because the sex was fantastic. And they had big dicks. But there were other guys that I had longer affairs with who weren't so well endowed, but I actually liked them, so I was alright with putting up with a not-so-ginormous organ. Of course, the best kinds are the ones with big dicks who you get to nail over and over again. Sigh. I need to find me one of those right about now. Or bring some of the older ones out of retirement.

Anywho, in other news, like two weeks ago, I got back to New York after spending half the month of October in California. My parents decided that they are going to move to Maine within a year, and since the whole family is spending the holidays in Maine this year, I figured that the fall was a good time to go visit. And now I am back here in New York, and on Thursday, I shall be going back to California once again. This time, however, it's for a sadder reason. My grandma died a few days ago, and we are all gathering for a funeral, which also might be the last time that my parents, my brother, and my sister in law will all be together in the only house that my family has ever lived in. Kinda weird. It is sad that my Am died, but she was very old, she would have been 90 on January 1, and she has been going downhill for a long while. And I got to see her one last time when I was home a few weeks ago. I guess it's just inevitable, old people die. That's just the way it goes. It's really weird, because the last couple deaths that have effected me were people that were not related to me, but they effected me so much more. But that's probably because they were unexpected and tragic. It seems that death is much easier when you know it's coming, then it doesn't really bother you. Although, I guess we'll see how I do at the funeral. (And the Irish Wake that will follow.) Okay, enough stating the obvious.

The one good thing that comes out of this whole thing is my savings bonds. When my brother and I were born, my Am went out and bought us a US saving bond like every week for god knows how many years, and a bunch of them will have matured by now. I only mention this because it just so happens that when my brother was 13, Am took him on a cruise throught the Carribean and the Panama Canal for his 8th grade graduation. And what did I get for MY 8th grade graduation? A whole lot of nothin! So I am using my savings bond money to go travel... most likely to the Carribean (yes, Julia, that's right, I'm a-comin!), but also hopefully to other distant lands.

Speaking of traveling, I know a while back I had posted a link to Brook's website for his movie (www.amapforsaturday.com), but I feel the need to mention it again, because not only is it like to go a film festival or two, but it's also going to be airing on a well known cable network that I may or may not have worked for in the past year. Anyway, the point is that within a year, Brook is going to be a celebrity and is going to have teeny boppers flinging their panties at him right and left. But as long as this does not prevent him from joining me at the worlds greatest happy hour every monday, it's fine by me. In fact, I am very happy for him.

Let's see, what else what else. Ah yes, for those of you in Colorado I haven't spoken to in a while, I am going to be out there for New Years, from Dec 27 until Jan 3. Me and some of my partners in crime have decided to rent a condo in Breckenridge for a few days, which I am very excited about. As we all know, getting drunk in high altitudes is highly efficient. And it's been a while since I have had sex in the Rocky Mountain time zone.

Alright, that's gonna be all for now. I got to set at 5:30 this morning, and now I am home, and I shall be drinking a couple bottles of Miller High Life and eating my delicious tacolandia burrito.

I hope this post is to the liking of those of you who have been awaiting a "real post" for some time now. And I PROMISE I will do my best to keep it up.

ahhhh halloween

2006-10-29T05:11:00.000-05:00

Kremmm (4:42:46 AM): hey are you still up?
hiphopnonamus (4:42:53 AM): ya
Kremmm (4:43:06 AM): hahaha good. i have a ridiculous story for you
hiphopnonamus (4:43:15 AM): lets have it
hiphopnonamus (4:43:26 AM): I'm on my sidekick tho
Kremmm (4:43:37 AM): okay, so i was down at this bar in the east village and met this guy, oliver, from brooklyn
hiphopnonamus (4:43:37 AM): so forgive me if my responses are slow
hiphopnonamus (4:43:52 AM): k
Kremmm (4:44:02 AM): and he was all like all up in my junk, too much, in a major way, but cute enough to where i was like, alright, i';ll give him a chance
Kremmm (4:44:16 AM): long story short, we end up in a taxi back up to my neighborhood
hiphopnonamus (4:44:16 AM): ok
hiphopnonamus (4:44:24 AM): excellent
hiphopnonamus (4:44:41 AM): or sexcellent should I say
Kremmm (4:44:41 AM): and call me a traditionalist, but like, if i am gonna bring a guy home, he sure as fuck better offer up a few bucks for the taxi
Kremmm (4:44:49 AM): most guys would pay for the entire thing
hiphopnonamus (4:44:50 AM): oh totally
Kremmm (4:44:53 AM): this guy didn't offer up a dime
hiphopnonamus (4:44:57 AM): yeah for sure
hiphopnonamus (4:45:05 AM): what the hell?
Kremmm (4:45:10 AM): so i was already like, okay thats almost a deal breaking in itself
Kremmm (4:45:17 AM): and then we get into my bedroom
hiphopnonamus (4:45:18 AM): yeah no joke
Kremmm (4:45:22 AM): and the clothes start coming off
hiphopnonamus (4:45:23 AM): oh jeez
hiphopnonamus (4:45:32 AM): naturally
Kremmm (4:46:04 AM): and then as soon as i noticed the size of his wang.... which was small...like noticably smaller than average... i was like, ummm okay....
Kremmm (4:46:09 AM): this is not worth my time
Kremmm (4:46:21 AM): and THEN he started to try and fuck me without a condom on
hiphopnonamus (4:46:23 AM): oh no!!
Kremmm (4:46:24 AM): and i was like WHAT
Kremmm (4:46:27 AM): we met like an HOUR ago
Kremmm (4:46:29 AM): what the fuck
Kremmm (4:46:30 AM): no
Kremmm (4:46:32 AM): so i was like
Kremmm (4:46:33 AM): sooooo
hiphopnonamus (4:46:33 AM): holy shit
Kremmm (4:46:37 AM): i'm not really feeling this
Kremmm (4:46:41 AM): i think you should go
Kremmm (4:46:46 AM): and i totally booted him out of my room
Kremmm (4:46:51 AM): it was actually kind of hilarious
hiphopnonamus (4:46:55 AM): hahahaha
hiphopnonamus (4:47:02 AM): what did he say
Kremmm (4:47:15 AM): because at the time he was leaving, my friends (including jill andres) were just getting back cuz they are crashing on the couch
Kremmm (4:47:21 AM): and i was like, yeah, this guy is just leaving
hiphopnonamus (4:47:35 AM): hahaha who was this weirdo?
Kremmm (4:48:01 AM): and i kinda used the excuse that he wanted to fuck me without a condom, which is sketchy, but really, it was the fact that he had a small wang.... and the fact that he didn't pay for the taxi home
hiphopnonamus (4:48:20 AM): I mean strikes 1-3
hiphopnonamus (4:48:25 AM): he's out
Kremmm (4:48:33 AM): and in general, i just thought he was a douche. once i found out he was in the screen actors guild, i was like, ohhhhhhhhhh no
Kremmm (4:48:40 AM): now watch, he's gonna be in a movie that i work on
Kremmm (4:48:43 AM): and i'm gonna see him
hiphopnonamus (4:48:44 AM): oh god no
Kremmm (4:48:46 AM): hahahaha
hiphopnonamus (4:48:49 AM): yeah probably
hiphopnonamus (4:48:56 AM): but he's lame
Kremmm (4:49:03 AM): no it was totally ridiculous, the whole situation
hiphopnonamus (4:49:16 AM): no joke
hiphopnonamus (4:49:24 AM): so he paid for his own taxi home
hiphopnonamus (4:49:33 AM): so he had money
Kremmm (4:49:48 AM): like, he was really attractive and such, so i was like, meh, i could go for some action, but like, maybe if i could put duct tape over his mouth so he couldn't talk, and if i gave him a dick that was worth while....
Kremmm (4:49:49 AM): but no
Kremmm (4:49:58 AM): ohhh he probably had to go catch the subway home
Kremmm (4:50:00 AM): poor guy
Kremmm (4:50:02 AM): oh well
Kremmm (4:50:05 AM): i don't feel bad
hiphopnonamus (4:50:23 AM): yeah u shouldnt
hiphopnonamus (4:50:29 AM): he whiffed
Kremmm (4:50:30 AM): oh the OTHER thing was that i went down to another bar to meet jill and brook, and this fuckin guy didn't have an ID on him, so he couldn't come in
hiphopnonamus (4:50:38 AM): eew
hiphopnonamus (4:50:42 AM): lame
Kremmm (4:50:51 AM): so that's why i was like, alright, i'll give him a chance in the sack
Kremmm (4:50:54 AM): but then i was like, nope
Kremmm (4:51:04 AM): wow, i have never done that to a guy before
Kremmm (4:51:30 AM): like, i kinda pretty much knew that i didn't want to fuck him, and yet i still brought him home, like pretty much to get the satisfaction of messing with him
Kremmm (4:51:37 AM): maybe i am evil, i dunno
hiphopnonamus (4:51:42 AM): yeah no
hiphopnonamus (4:51:49 AM): I don't think so
hiphopnonamus (4:51:54 AM): I mean, u tried it
Kremmm (4:51:59 AM): well, yeah
hiphopnonamus (4:52:00 AM): u were open minded enough to try
hiphopnonamus (4:52:04 AM): and he was lame, so why go thru with it
Kremmm (4:52:22 AM): seriously though, i gotta say, when i guy wants to go home with you, when he doesn't even offer up ONE DOLLAR towards cab fare
Kremmm (4:52:26 AM): like, come on
hiphopnonamus (4:53:02 AM): that shoulda been the end
hiphopnonamus (4:53:09 AM): did u say anything
hiphopnonamus (4:54:53 AM): ?
Kremmm (4:54:58 AM): i was just like pulling money out, and he was like, oh are we gonna have enough
Kremmm (4:55:04 AM): and i was like yeah i have cash
Kremmm (4:55:05 AM): but
Kremmm (4:55:12 AM): i saw that he had a 20 in his pocket
Kremmm (4:55:23 AM): he pulled money out and i saw a 20 and a 5 and some 1s
hiphopnonamus (4:55:27 AM): oh what the fuck
Kremmm (4:55:34 AM): and he didn't even bother offering any of it
Kremmm (4:55:42 AM): so after that i was like, this guy is a tool
hiphopnonamus (4:55:48 AM): that's fucked up
Kremmm (4:56:03 AM): i mean, most guys will pay for the whole thing, which is nice but not a requirment
Kremmm (4:56:18 AM): but like, somebody who doesn't offer anything at all
Kremmm (4:56:19 AM): what the fuck
hiphopnonamus (4:57:27 AM): yeah
Kremmm (4:57:29 AM): ugh, i can't believe how douchey this guy turned out to be
hiphopnonamus (4:57:35 AM): seriously lame
hiphopnonamus (4:57:40 AM): well he's gonet
Kremmm (4:57:42 AM): fo sho
Kremmm (4:57:45 AM): exactly
hiphopnonamus (4:57:45 AM): hats good
Kremmm (4:58:17 AM): it's sad when like, your thought process is well, i could get laid, but seriously, i'd rather sleep alone than touch this douchbag that is here right now
Kremmm (4:58:27 AM): because seriously, tonight my mission was to get some ass
Kremmm (4:58:32 AM): and this guy seemed like a good pick
Kremmm (4:58:55 AM): but then i realized, wow, i don't want to have sex and then feel bad about it tomorrow, why should i lower my standards?
Kremmm (4:59:26 AM): i mean, i have fucked ivy leaguers... and emmy winners... and lawyers and investment bankers and people that have been really really good looking and fucking great in bed
Kremmm (4:59:40 AM): why should i fuck this douchebag who can't even throw down for cab far
Kremmm (4:59:43 AM): fare
Kremmm (5:00:07 AM): i don't need to settle
hiphopnonamus (5:00:46 AM): exactly
Kremmm (5:00:49 AM): the best part was that as he was leaving, he was like "i think you're a little crazy, and i think you just don't know what you want"
hiphopnonamus (5:00:52 AM): a sag guy
hiphopnonamus (5:00:58 AM): gross
Kremmm (5:01:21 AM): and i was just like, uhuh.... but i was thinking.... "nope. not crazy. and what i want is a dude with a big dick who can fuck me non-sketchiley"
Kremmm (5:01:47 AM): maybe i am bad ffor discriminating, but i'll say it.... size matters
Kremmm (5:02:04 AM): and maybe i shouldn't speak of such matters to a guy friend
Kremmm (5:02:06 AM): so i am sorry
hiphopnonamus (5:02:53 AM): I don't really care, its understandable
Kremmm (5:03:52 AM): yeah, and if you have a small wang, dont' be a douchebag
Kremmm (5:03:57 AM): i don't think us ladies are asking for much
Kremmm (5:05:31 AM): well, the point is that i am drunk, and i kicked a guy out of my bedroom, and i am laughing about it now
Kremmm (5:05:36 AM): and either way, i'm going to hell
Kremmm (5:05:43 AM): it's a good thing i don't belive in hell
hiphopnonamus (5:05:45 AM): its a good story no matter what
Kremmm (5:06:07 AM): word
Kremmm (5:06:10 AM): well thanks for listening
Kremmm (5:06:16 AM): i am gonna go to bed now
hiphopnonamus (5:06:23 AM): ok for sure
hiphopnonamus (5:06:26 AM): gnight
Kremmm (5:06:30 AM): happily, by myself, rather than with douchey mcdoucherson
Kremmm (5:06:37 AM): i'll talk to you soon
Kremmm (5:06:41 AM): byeee

lasik part 2

2006-10-04T20:59:00.000-04:00

wow, my eye doctor is cool. not only is he kinda hot, but he complimented my beastie boys t shirt, and then gave me quite a lot of vicodin and valium.
yeah, i just had my left eye lasik surgery. good times. i am a bit on the cracked out side at the moment. but i just wanted to update.
i will do my best to keep things posted, although that may prove difficult... here is my schedule for the upcoming week or so
thursday - recover from lasik, while under the influence of valium and vicodin all day
friday - back on the ryan reynolds/rachel weisz movie, and then a birthday party for a former mtv coworker
saturday - working on the new will smith movie "i am legend".... huge budget, should be insane, and then afterwards, my good friend spencer is starring in a movie that is premiering at the harlem film festival, so i'll be going to see that.
sunday - more fun on "i am legend"
monday - working at the mill, (www.themill.com), my favorite post production house in soho
tuesday - back on ryan reynolds movie
wednesday - the mill
thursday - ryan reynolds, and then that night i leave for california

so all you kids out in california, i am gonna be there from october 12 until the 25. i'll be in napa, down in socal for at least a couple days, and actually sometime during my trip, i will be driving out to colorado for a day or two.

this is quite a pointless post. but i am all stoned right now. the valium.vicodin combo is delightful.
ohhhh SHIT!! lost is about to start!!!!

okay buh bye, until next time.

oops

2006-10-02T00:58:00.000-04:00

dang, i didn't realize how long it had been since my last post... nearly two weeks. what can i say that you haven't already heard. my blog just kinda sucks these days. i guess a legit excuse is that since i moved into my new apartment, we didn't have internet hooked up for like 2 weeks, so i couldn't update then. but now we have internet, as well as cable (and DVR, which is the best thing ever), so now i have no excuses.
in other news, i've been working quite a lot lately... I worked on that adam sandler movie, i now pronounce you chuck and larry. that was a fun time. i did one day on 1408, this weird ass steven king movie. it's going to star john cusack and samuel l jackson i guess. they weren't on set when i was there, but mary mcormack was. i don't really know all that much about her, except that she played russell crowe's wife in mystery alaska, which was a pretty hot movie. ya know, hockey players and all. and tomorrow, err, really, in about 4 hours, i'm gonna be on the set of this movie called "definitely maybe" which stars ryan reynolds, who is insanely hot, despite the fact that he is nailing alanis morrisette. and i think rachel weisz is in it too, which is pretty cool, considering she won an oscar this year.
aaaanywho, it's almost 1 am, and i have to be on set at 5. i guess i should get some sleep. or else i'll just have to watch more episodes of south park that i have dvr'ed. yeup. so. that's all for now.

I found a wallet

2006-09-15T02:45:00.000-04:00

So I just got into a taxi down in the financial district, after a freakishly long day on set, and I found a wallet, seemingly belonging to some NYU chick. It's damn near 3 am, so there is nothing I can do about it right now, but does anybody have any suggestions on how to get a hold of her? If she's an NYU student, then maybe the school can give me her number, I dunno. I just feel this sense of urgency to get it back to her, because I know how much it sucks to leave your wallet in a taxi. And my best guess is that she was probably a little drunk when it happened. Why? Because she has three fake IDs. She might be my new hero.
Anywho, if anybody knows a quick and easy way to get an email address for an NYU kid, let me know.
And for now, I am going to bed, since I have another long day of shooting tomorrow. But alas, rather than having Adam Sandler around tomorrow, we shall have instead the King of Queens himself, Kevin James. Should be interesting.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

2006-09-12T21:14:00.000-04:00

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762107/

Yeup, this is my new job for the week. Fun stuff. I'll write more about it later, like at a point in time when I have slept more than an hour and worked less than 15.

Weird...

2006-09-12T01:57:00.000-04:00

http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2006-05-02/brumback-gooddrunk

meat

2006-09-12T01:50:00.000-04:00

Kremmm (1:41:19 AM): hey
Kremmm (1:41:23 AM): can you do me a favore
kDeUSTerMAN (1:41:23 AM): HI
kDeUSTerMAN (1:41:25 AM): HUNH
Kremmm (1:41:33 AM): are you gonna be awake for two more hours
kDeUSTerMAN (1:41:46 AM): not shore
kDeUSTerMAN (1:41:50 AM): whatcha need
Kremmm (1:41:53 AM): well
Kremmm (1:41:59 AM): i am only going to sleep for 2 hours
Kremmm (1:42:03 AM): i'm afraid i wont wake up
Kremmm (1:42:18 AM): i was wondering if you could call meat 1 o clock your time
Kremmm (1:42:28 AM): CALL MEAT!!!!!
Kremmm (1:42:31 AM): HAAAAAAAAAA
kDeUSTerMAN (1:42:32 AM): hahhaa

Scientology... the wave of the future?

2006-09-09T00:19:00.000-04:00

I've recently noticed that in the media it is perfectly acceptable to make blatant fun of Scientology, and yet no other relgious seems to attract the same abuse. I mean, nobody is gonna come out pretending like the ideas of Jesus and Mohammad and Moses are something that makes you regarded as a craz person. Scientologists are painted as total nut jobs because they believe in the stories of L Run Hubbard, and shit about aliens and thetans and shit like that. But look at the origin of Christianity? (i'll pick on that, because that's the one I know the most about). I mean, there is this guy who is born to a virgin, and people actually BELIEVE this, even though it's physically impossible. So what is the difference between believing that some divine spirit impregnated her? Divine spirit? How is that a more legitimite and socially acceptable answer than all the crap about aliens. (PS - i am impartial because i don't believe in either). I mean, I don't think scientologists are sitting around thinking about christians being totally headcases, or writing about them in people magazine about how they prefer silent births, and don't agree with ritalin. i mean, a lot of christians are full of shit, but why is it that anybody and everybody will openly mock the scientologist, but they won't go after the christians in such a way. I mean, think about it. Angels, demons, spirits, the plagues and the parting of the red sea, and flood and noahs arc, and the way the ten commandments came to be. i mean, come on, you KNOW that a good percentage of americans actually believe this. and if you really think about the stories, they are complete nonsense.
i have more to say abotu this later, about how maybe there is an analogy...
christianity is to mythology as scientology is to christianity. maybe the story of jesus actually started out as the same L Rob Hubbard story, but over the past 2000 years it's been all fucked up by humans who kept an oral history of it, and then it was written in the bible, and then translated and rewritten and shit.
yeah, i'll elaborate more later.

(ps - i don't know anything really about scientology, and i don't really care to. but i guess my point is the i might be jumping on the train from agnosticism to atheism. or buddhism. or maybe the zen of the tao or whatever it's called).

alright, i'm outta here.

One-eyed snakes on a plane

2006-09-09T00:17:00.000-04:00

Has there been a porn yet made called "One-eyed snakes on a plane"? If there is, I want to see it. And if there isn't, I'm writing a script for it tomorrow.

Nerd Alert!

2006-09-08T00:49:00.000-04:00

This is why I'm a total dork... because I see something like this http://www.idiomsite.com/ and I get totally excited!

Alright, so since that is boring, I am going to give you a preview of my story that I plan on regaling you with in a day or two.

Basically, I ended up going home with this musician guy. Kinky details will follow. But to give you a clue as to where this might be going, read this article, and it might bring you up to speed a touch. PS - Wholeheartedly agree with with the last sentence in the article. I'll explain more later.

Horrifying? Or perhaps.... hilarious?

2006-09-07T22:26:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHxjbWEDWWk

Fuckin uTube. Love it.

Ahh New York

2006-09-06T05:14:00.000-04:00

Man, man, man
What a night

First of all, I slept for like two hours last night, and then had to work this morning. Not early or anything. But at 11. Which means I had to leave a little after 10. When you don't go to bed until like 6 am, and then you get up at like 9 am, that ain't a lot of sleep. Nonetheless, I got my ass up and worked from 11 am until 9 pm at The Mill, my freelancy job which is low key and fun, and full of hot british dudes. Midway through the day, I damn near fell asleep, which made me positive that the best idea was so come hoem immediately after work and go to bed. But really, come on, who the fuck do you think I am? My last assignment at work was to go drop off a package at FedEx in the West Vill/Quasi meatpacking district, and then I was allowed to take the taxi (that the company was paying for) to the nearest subway stop for my line. But alas, I opted instead to take the taxi to Fresh, my dear friend Kristi's restaurant in Tribeca. Much much drinking was done, and then after that, rather than moving along to the nearest 2 or 3 train stop, I opted to call my dear dear friend Kato back in California for a long overdue chat. We talked and talked long enough for me to get from the subway stop on Chambers and Church.... all the way up past the Astor place 6 train stop. it's quite a long walk. We had a lot to talk about. We were just about wrapping things up when all of a sudden up in front of me I saw a figure walking towards me with arms open. My natural instinct was to ignore the crazy man and walk around him, but then suddenly I realized that it wasn't a crazy dude, it was my friend Christian! I had text messaged him earlier in the evening when Kristi, Rich and I could not recall the name of our head chef when we worked at MoMA. Christian, another MoMA co-worker, happened to remember, and then we continued our email conversation. I was trying to convince him to head into the city from Queens to hang out with us, but then it became too late, and by then Kristi had gone along on her merry way, so i didn't think much of it. But whilst I walked and talked with Kato, Christian had called to find out where I was so him and his friends could come meet us. Since Kato and I were involved in such deep converstion, I missed his call and didn't realize that he was on his way into the city. And then, by some freak coincidence, him and his friends happened to drive by my as I walked along 3rd ave down in the East Village. And then they pulled over and he got out and came to say hello. What are the odds? I'm not sure. I'd guess.... not so good. It was actually pretty fucking random and kind of scary. Anywho, we went to the village, got some falafel, had a pitcher of beer, talked about the crocodile hunter's death (which, buy the way, is pretty darned unfortunate), had a shot of jaeger a piece, and then moved along. Somehow I fenagled my way into getting a ride home from his friends, which is always a bonus. And now, here I am. It's almost 5:30 am. I promised myself that I would get some sleep tonight, but I failed. I fucking failed. That's all for now.

Damn you, Ernesto!

2006-09-03T05:49:00.000-04:00

Despite the remnants of tropical storm Ernesto cramping my style, I managed to have a pretty decent night out in this great city. (And I say this after arriving home at damn near 6 in the mo'nin.)
Highlights included...

Going to Grimaldis in Brooklyn and sitting two tables away from The Jesus. (Aka John Turturro)

Going to the Comedy Cellar and seeing a great show including some dude from Best week ever, whos name I can't remember right now but he was really funny and pretty hot, and he said hello to me afterwards, and nearly made me blush. And also, the highlight of my night was Ben Bailey... who is the host of Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel. Now, I know I am a huge dork, but I friggin love that show, and I was totally stoked to have seen him live. He was great. And then of course Dave Attell, who is always phenomenal and inappropriate. I'll have to look up the names of the other dudes, but all around, it was a really reall delightfully funny show.

And then, after that, went to a few bars, ran into some folk I knew, and then wrapped up the evening at Around the Clock with some delicious Waffles Benedict. Yum.

I'll have to write more tomorrow when I'm not so tired. It's almost 6 am, I need some sleep. Word.

Weeeeird

2006-09-02T04:07:00.001-04:00

The creepiest thing ever might have happened tonight

I'll have to re-edit this blog at a later time when I'm more sober,
but I'll put down the jist of it for now.

earlier tonight ,I was at Swift, in the east village, and we caught a taxi to the alphabet, which was very short ride indeed, but somehow, on that short ride, the taxi driver fell in love with me, and gave me his number and wanted me to call him, and i gave him a fake number, cuz like, thats just what felt like was the right thing to do was.... but then. THEN like 3 hours later, we were still at the same bar he dropped us at in front of, and like he fucking came into the bar and showed up and was like all up in our faces.... i know i am not articulating this very well, but i will tomorrow. i am just pointed out right now how weird it is that this taxi driver came back to this bar and kinda stalked me.e.... it's kinda creepy, no? i mean, come on, really? who does that? i dunno.

in other news, i kinda met a fireman. you see, i texted my friend lauren, and apparently she left her phone at a bar the other night, and a fireman picked it up. so i was texting him tonight, and tomorrow afternoon i get to go and pick up the phone and meet him. rest assured, blog readers, i will keep you posted. but alas, now, it is after 4 am, and i am not sober, thusly i shall sleep, and write more tomorrow.

fare thee well.

Weeeeird

2006-09-02T04:07:00.000-04:00

Four things...

2006-08-29T16:53:00.000-04:00

I just got this email forward to fill out, and rather than forward it along, I decided to make a half assed blog entry with it. Enjoy!

Things you may not have known about me.....

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Wine bottler

2. Professional Portrait Photographer

3. Janitor at the Napa Outlet Stores (it was with Katie Dodd through our temp agency and we were there for like 4 hours and then quit)

4. Old Navy cashier and folder of clothing

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Billy Madison

2. The 40 Year Old Virgin

3. Office Space

4. The Big Lebowski

C) Four places I have lived:

1. Napa, California

2. Boulder, Colorado

3. Florence, Italy

4. New York, New York

D.) Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Lost

2. Entourage

3. Futurama

4. Peewee's Playhouse

E) Four places I have been on vacation

1. Hawaii

2. Puerto Penasco, Mexico

3. Cannes, France

4. Maine

F) Websites I visit daily:

1. Cnn.com

2. Wikipedia

3. Myspace.com

4. TheSuperficial.com

G) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Sushi from that place down on St Marks

2. Burgers from Burger Joint in the Parker Meridian hotel

3. Crepes with Nutella and Strawberries

4. German food! (and beer by the liter)

H.) Four places I would like to be right now:

1. On a freedom trail pub crawl in Boston

2. On the island of St. Kitts, visiting Julia!

3. At the Guinness brewery in Dublin

4. At Oktoberfest in Munich

Why oh why

2006-08-24T01:48:00.000-04:00

Can somebody please explain to me what is up with guys popping their collars? I know that I might not be "young and hip" anymore, at the ripe old age of 25... I don't watch the "MTV", even though i used to work there... I'm not "down" with the "teeny-boppers", even though i used to be one... but like, when did it become cool for dudes to flip their collars up? Is that just guy code for being like, "hey, i'm doing this because i'm a ginormous douche clock." Or did all the "cool" guys get together and decide that they just didn't have time or care enough to make sure their collars were fixed? And are there girls out there who see these guys and think "wow, now THAT is a guy whos dick i wanna suck on all night long."? Why oh why.

Now, usually, when I am in a bar and I see more than one popped collar, that is my cue to leave. If that is the sort of clientele an establishment is popular with, then usually I have no business being there. Last night, however, I was out in the East Village and started dancing with this guy, and then a song or two in, to my own horror, I realized he had popped his collar. (It took a while to notice because it was dark in there, and I was taking full advantage of the free vodka and the hookah, so my observational skills weren't as keen as they usually are.) After a few minutes, I noticed that he spoke with an accent, and found out that he was from Senegal, and had spent most of his formative years in Paris, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Since foreigners are often mistaken as being gay for their sometimes odd manner of dress, I figured that maybe he was just a little misguided and didn't quite realize the extreme douchebaggery that his popped collar implied. For a minute there I began to think that I was wrong for judging these collar poppers. But then he kept trying to stick his tongue down my throat on the dancefloor, after I repeatedly pointed out that I was there with an exboyfriend, and it's kind of an asshole move to make out with some random guy (with a popped collar) in front of your ex, at least in my opinion. I mean, he really was a nice guy, pretty good looking, good on paper, but I wasn't interested in going home with him. I decided to meet my friend Kristi at another bar a few blocks away, and for some reason, the collar flipper decided that he wanted to leave with me. It seemed harmless enough, since he had said that he lived in the neighborhood anyway, but then he started pulling random acts of desperation, which is even less hot than the popping of the collar. I made the obvious mistake of giving him my phone number and email address (which yeah, was questionable, but first of all, at this point I was pretty toasted, and second of all, it ain't that hard to ignore voicemails and emails and just not return them). On our walk, he wanted to stop in a grocery store for some reason, which I could only interpret as a lame attempt to spend more time with me before getting ultimately rejected. Finally I said goodbye and continued my walk down to Swift, the bar where I was meeting Kristi, and when I was about two steps from the door, my phone rang. The caller ID was a number that I didn't know, and when I answered, sure enough, it was Douchey McPoppedCollar with one last desperate attempt to get me to go home with him. And THEN, when I got home this afternoon (after spending last night and most of today with the guy I DID end up going home with, who was much hotter and had no trace of any sort of alternative collar wearing tendencies), I checked my inbox, and sure enough there is a lame ass desperate email from this jackass. It was at 3 am, which would have been right when he got home. Even funnier, the actual email I got was a forwarded message after two failed attemps at spelling my email address correctly.

In what world doe guys think this is sexy? Like, dude, if I wanted to go home and bury my face in your crotch, I would have (as was learned by the guy I met at the next bar I went to). But calling and emailing me within 10 minutes of me leaving? Come on, nobody likes desperation like that.

So I guess the bottom like, gentlemen, is that
(a) popped collars are for douchebags
(b) desperation is not sexy.

I think that's about all I have to say this evening.

harumph

2006-08-19T04:07:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure that the last person who commented is right.

They said that they were pretty fucking sure that a lame picture of me with some hay bales doesn't make up for me not posting anything. It's true. I mean, I don't think that picture is particularly lame, but you're right, I know, you're right, I need to do some more posts.

But let me tell you this, I have a great big post in the making, I've been working on it for a couple days now, and I want to make sure that it doesn't suck, so I'm editing it and cleaning it up.

I also have more pictures from my camping trip to New Hampshire and... I'm really not sure what else, but I know that there are more pictures somewhere.

I promise.

The blog is about to stop sucking in a major way.

In the meantime, it's 4:04 am, I just got home, I'm kinda drunk, and I have a delicious philly cheesesteak here ready for me to eat it.

Word.

Hay bales are cool

2006-08-16T14:04:00.000-04:00

Yeah, but what happens when you headbutt somebody?

2006-07-31T23:13:00.000-04:00

From CNN.com...

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- Inspired by the yellow and red penalty cards flashed by football referees, some New Zealand bars are using color-coded cards to help curb excess drinking.

A yellow card is shown to imbibers who may be heading towards trouble during a night at the pub, while a red card removes them from the bar, said Hospitality Association of New Zealand chief executive Bruce Robertson.

In a dozen bars using the cards in the North Island cities of Auckland and Wellington, a yellow card means no alcohol is served to the recipient for a specific period of time.

"If you're giving them the red card you're saying 'I'm sorry, you are too affected by alcohol for us to serve you any more, or have you on the premises. I'm afraid you're going to have to go,"' he said.

Patrons who leave with "good grace" are entitled to return another time and present their red card for a free drink, Robertson said.

"It wouldn't work in all bars, but in some bars that have perhaps got a sporting focus, that may be appropriate," he said.

Although drinkers could treat the card system as a game, bar staff were trained to guard against that.

"There's always that potential -- 'I'm going for a reddie tonight,"' he said.

Jason Deane, managing director of Trinity Group, which has several bars using the system, said reaction had been very positive, lightening the mood in what could be a difficult situation.

Although a free drink was on offer to red card recipients, generally they weren't being redeemed. People were too embarrassed the next day, kept the cards as a souvenir, or lost them, he said.

The nation's Alcohol Advisory Council said they were keeping an interested watch on the system's progress.

Chief executive Mike MacAvoy said bar staff "say they hate serving people who are drunk, and dealing with obnoxious, loud or messy customers, so if this system works, then we applaud it."

Bar operators face a NZ$10,000 ($6,190) fine and suspension of their liquor license for serving drunks.

Capture The Flag

2006-07-31T23:12:00.000-04:00

Anybody wanna go play Capture The Flag on thursday night? Let me know. Should be a good time.

I hate Mel Gibson

2006-07-31T22:55:00.000-04:00

I just read about this on the superficial.... and on cnn.com

Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me." The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?" The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?" A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?

I never was a huge fan of Mel Gibson, but I really started to hate him back when he decided that he had to make the passion of the christ. Now, he's up in the stratosphere of people I hate... along with Patricia Heaton, and that crazy marine who came and broke into my apartment last year. They should all engage in a battle royale, fighting the to death. Ya know, until they're ALL dead. That might sound sinister, but I think it'd be for the greater good of humanity. Because if you leave people like Patricia Heaton and Mel Gibson on this planet, then there is an outside chance that they could breed and create offspring that is even more annoying and horrid than either of them seperately. I know this thought is unfathomable. In fact, I think if those two procreated, the world would actually implode on itself because it would not be able to withstand all that lameness and bullshittery.

My Eye Holes

2006-07-21T16:13:00.000-04:00

Well then, it's been a few days since my LASIK surgery, err, more accurately, HALF of it. You see, after successfully fixing my right eye, which I'll talk more about it a minute, the doctor moved onto my left eye, when something went wrong with the flap and they opted to not go ahead with the surgery. Therefore, I can see perfectly out of my right eye, whereas my left eye is surprisingly even blurrier than before.

Let me break it down for you. So after arriving at the LASIK center around 2:45 (which is shockingly early for me, as I am notoriously tardy for everything, and my surgery wasn't scheduled until 4pm, and they said to arrive around 3), I sat around for a couple hours, paid them their fee, watched a few ridiculous shows on the Food Network, since that was my only option in the waiting room. Finally, around 5:15, my dear friend Ryan Martinez arrived to accompany me home, so I wouldn't run into a wall or step into moving traffic or anything. Since I was scheduled for 4pm, I figured that I'd be finished by 5:30 or so, but alas, I had yet to go into the laser room. But, they had given me a valium, so I really didn't care at that point. Finally, they brought me in, threw a shower cap lookin' thing on my noggin, laid me down on the operating table/chair thing, and gave me a stuffed animal and told me that he was my new best friend. Unfortunately, I can't remember his name, but he was pretty darn cute. I was laying there with my eyes closed, until the nurse lady came over and dropped some numbing drops into my eye holes. Then they went to work on good ol' righty. My left eye at this point was taped closed, and then they put in the weird clamper thing to keep my right eye open. Back when I was a kid, I remember some looney toons cartoon where Bugs Bunny was being tortured by one of his many nemeses, where they sat him in front of a screen and had these things to hold his eyes open so he had to watch whatever weird shit they were projecting. Or maybe it was an episode of animaniacs. I don't really remember. Either way, that's what it reminded me of. There really is no way to describe the sensation of wanting to blink and not being able to because your eye is open wider than it has ever been open before. It didn't hurt, it was just weird. So, since I had read up on the procedure a bit, I knew that the next step after numbing my eyes was to cut a flap of my cornea to flip out of the way. I guess I didn't really understand what this process entailed, but, oh boy, I sure found out. The whole time they had me staring at this blinking green light to keep my eye from moving, which was going great, until the doctor brought towards me what I can only describe as an evil monocle of death. He placed it on my eye, and then pushed down, and then pushed down some more, meanwhile, my vision has gone completely black. Luckily, before I could panic because I thought I went blind, he assured me that, in fact, that's what was supposed to happen. So as he's shoving the evil monocle of death against my eye ball, he says "Suction" to the nurse, and that's when I just about peed myself in terror.

* (this is a bit of a tangent, so i'm going to separate it into its own paragraph) I don't know how many of you out there watch Deadwood on HBO. My roommates are really into it, but I usually don't pay too much attention to it. It seems like a good enough show, wild west, cowboys, yadda yadda, and that Timothy Olyphant is definitely somebody I wouldn't mind rollin around in the hay with a bit, but alas, I digress. This past Sunday, on the day before my surgery, my roommate K.Dodd was watching the previous weeks episode of Deadwood onDemand so she was caught up for that nights new episode. I happened to be in the room and made the mistake of paying extra close attention to what was going on. There were two dirty and smelly lookin dudes having a big fight, just brawlin' out on the street in front of the saloon, next to the horse trough or what have you, and one of the guys gets the other guy on the ground, and then, ohhhh, I don't even know if I can bring myself to type it. One of the dudes sticks his finger in the other guys eye socket and fucking POPS HIS EYE OUT! Like, literally, it's just dangling there, by it's occular nerves, presumably, while the poor guy is just flailing about, screaming like a maniac, because, really, what else is there to do when your eye is just bobbing in front of your face, OUTSIDE your head. I mean, could he still SEE out of it? Grossest thing i've ever seen. Because at that point, what the fuck are your options? Do you go to the local medicine man and have him try to shove it back in the socket? Or do you just say fuck it and cut it off and find yourself a super trendy eye patch? I dunno. Either way, it was horrifying to watch. Especially the day before having eye surgery. Alright, now back to the story.

So he says "Suction", which i suppose is when the flap incision was made. And THEN the lasering began. It only took about 10 seconds, and it didn't really hurt, just kinda felt funny. But the thing I remember most was the smell. Seeing as how my nose is in reasonably close proximity to my eye holes, it was kind of odd to be able to smell the burning eye tissue that the laser was removing. But I relaxed, as it was all in the name of 20/20 vision. After the laser was done doin' its thing, the nurse squirted about a gallon of eye drops on my eyes, and the doctor smoothed the flap back on with what appeared to be a miniature spatula. It all felt a little funny, but it was relatively quick and painless. Except, of course, for my brief fear of having my eyeball sucked out.

Then it was time for the left eye. They taped my right eye closed and moved me over a bit, and then it was once again time for the evil monocle of death, which seemed to take longer than it did with the right eye. And he seemed to be pushing a lot harder than he did on the right eye. It was growing more and more unpleasant, and then he removed it, which i was pretty stoked about. And then it came back. With a vengeance. This part is a little hazy, because I can only remember thinking, fucking christ, this better be over soon, I just want to go home and take some tylenol PM and be done with this bullshitfest. So alas, the monocle was removed, they doused me with eyedrops, and then sat me up and took my little stuffed animal away and brought me into another examining room. At this point I kind of figured out that something had gone wrong. I couldn't decide if I should be worried that something very bad had happened, or be annoyed that I'd spend the rest of my life in need of only ONE contact lense, or a pair of glasses that had one empty side. I sat in that room for about 10 minutes, and then the doctor came in to explain what had happened. Apparently, my flap had been cut too thin, so if they had used the laser, it wouldn't have produced optimum results. Instead, they decided to wait until this flap heals and then try again, which will be in about a month. So for now, my vision is a bit lopsided. Oh, and another delightful side effect is that I have two broken blood vessels in my left eye. Maybe i'll take a picture of it and post it, since it's oh so sexy.

All in all, I'm glad I decided to have LASIK. It's kind of a pain in the ass that I have to go and get my left eye redone, but luckily my doctor is pretty cool, and kinda sexy, so I don't mind going to see him once a week. And I'm sure eventually, when my vision in my left eye is up to par, I'll be pretty stoked that I don't have to deal with contacts or glasses anymore. Until then, I'm on a rigorous schedule of 3 different types of eye drops 4 times a day.

In other news, I've decided that I've gone far too long without utilizing my extensive knowledge of trivia to earn money. Last night I was watching the world series of pop culture on VH1, and there wasn't a single question I didn't know the answer to. (Maybe I shouldn't be bragging about this, because it does kind of make me a collosal nerd.) And right now I'm watching Cash Cab, the game show that takes place in a NYC taxi, which, again, I know all the answers to. And then there is who wants to be a millionaire, which like, if you can't get to the $32,000 mark, you should be certified retarded. Sigh. So I guess my point is that I should go on some sort of TV game show and show off my trivia skills. That, or I should start up some sort of a side career as a Trivial Pursuit hustler. I'm not really sure how that would work, but I'm sure it would be wacky.

In even more other news, my roommates and I are fixin to move down the street a bit. We'll still be in East Harlem, but we'll be living over on Park Ave, above an Irish pub, which could prove to be very very good (in terms of drinking lots of guinness, playing Big Buck Hunter, picking up NYPD officers, etc) or really really bad (i.e. cirrosis of the liver).

And with that, my friends, I will leave you for now. Peace out cub scouts.

So long, glasses!

2006-07-17T01:21:00.000-04:00

I dunno who's going to be reading this, but I just thought I'd stop by with a quick update. Today, Monday, I'm having LASIK eye surgery. I'm a tad bit on the nervous side, but overall I'm sure it'll go well. And then I won't have to be bothered with glasses or contacts ever again. Cuz nothings worse than spending the night at a guys house and having to sleep with your contacts in.

I'll update again after the operation, and I'll be back later this week to post some recent pictures from the last movie I worked on, and the wrap party and stuff.

Dancing!

2006-06-27T01:45:00.000-04:00

If this video doesn't make you smile, you might have no soul.

dumb ass hackers

2006-06-17T16:33:00.000-04:00

for those of you not on myspace, i have decided to share with you a recent bulletin post i wrote in response to people pointing out that some sort of virus was causing my account to post lame ass bulletins.

and it goes a lil somethin like this.

*****

So, apparently I am the victim of some ridiculous myspace bulletin virus that is on a mission to make me look like a retarded asshole. Hmmm, interesting. I'd hope that most of you know me well enough to know the following...

a. I would not ever say "all y'all niggers", or any derivative of that phrase, including "all y'all" (like, unless i was drunk and making fun of somebody), and definitely never the word "niggers", or even the singular version of that word. cuz, ya know, as it turns out, i'm not in the KKK and i'd prefer to not say things that i just flat out shouldn't be saying (again, unless i'm drunk and making fun of somebody)

b. I would rather slit my wrists before typing "LOL JK JK"

c. I never even knew that the bulletin boards existed before people started asking me what the hell my problem was

d. When this alleged post was written, i was working. not at a
crappy desk job, no no, but on the set of a movie. as a PA. and that certainly does not afford me to time to sit around and make bullshit myspace posts.

e. I am a slutty, big boobed lush. That doesn't really have anything to do with anything, really, but if you are one of my friends, you already know that.

The thing I don't understand is that if you had the capacity and ability to hack into myspace with some crafty virus, why would write something like that? I mean, if they were really trying to fuck with me, they should have had me "post" something about plans to assassinate the president, or my plans to burn down an abortion clinic, or something else that I would never do but could actually stir up some more shit than "fuck all y'all niggas, lol, jk jk."

I guess when you're a no-talent ass clown, the only thing you have to do with your day is hack into myspace and try to mess with people. So yeah, right on, hope that's workin out well for you, assface.

What the!?!?

2006-06-16T02:01:00.000-04:00

Remind me later to write an angry rant about THIS.

Haaaaaahahahahaha

2006-06-14T21:52:00.000-04:00

Heh. Take a gander at Reggaeton, the movie I PA'ed on today. Try not to laugh too hard at the silliness of it.

Wait a tick, did I use the world "gander" properly? Hmm, it felt right. And if it feels this right, how can it be wrong?

Beantown!!

2006-06-01T22:59:00.000-04:00

I shall be back soon to caption these. But for now, you can just look at the pretty pictures.

Chi-town

2006-06-01T22:50:00.000-04:00

Only have a few pics from Chicago, since Greg hasn't sent me many, but here are my three choices for the blog.
(And the quality is'nt that great either. Thanks for nothing, Greg! Ha!)

Greg, Dana, and I. Dana's birthday. On the journey away from sobriety. And getting there fast.

I think what's happening here is that I am shoving something up Dana's ass at the Lincoln Park zoo. Why, you ask? Meh, self explanatory, I think.

Ahhhh, the Golden Nugget. Best. Drunk food. Ever.

DeeCee

2006-06-01T21:59:00.000-04:00

A while back, the Katie trifecta peaced on outta new york and ventured to DC to visit Jill and Amanda. Here are some highlights...

This is what you're supposed to be doing when you're wearing gollashes. Jumping in puddles of course! Geez! Especially when their is a giant phallus behind you.

So there was this exhibit at the Smithsonian where you could get up and read a presidential speech in front of your fellow museum goers, and since most of the folks who decided that would be "cool" to do were in fact gigantic douchepockets, we decided to openly mock them at the podium. Notice the glory of my "Rock out with your cock out" t-shirt, whilst Amanda throws down a Shocker. What could be classier.

Katie Dodd's favorite movie of all time is National Treasure, so when she saw the National Archives building, she became extremely delighted and tried desperately to show her ta-tas off to the building that "Nicolas Cage stole that piece of paper from."

Kato, Dodd, Jill and Amanda strike a sassy pose in front of the capital. Or is it capitol? Hmm, I guess we'll never know.

Amanda, myself, and Jill, at the Pour House. Boozin it up in boozetown.

Jill had a wee pit of an accident. But the doesn't negate the fact that Pirates Arrr Cool. Avast matey! I think I'm going to photoshop in an eyepatch and a parrot. Yes, yes, a talking parrot.

So... turns out, taking the Chinatown bus rules when you are short on cash. On the other hand, it kinda sucks when you blow a tire on the Jersey Turnpike like 2 miles from the Holland Tunnel. Miss Dodd demontrates her stellar hitchhiking/hooking skills. She got offered $5 for some sucky sucky, but turned it down, cuz she's classy like that. Nothin less than $10.

Philly!

2006-06-01T21:27:00.000-04:00

So back in February, Katie, Dave, Jenaveve and I journeyed down to Philadelphia for a night. Did some drinkin'. Saw some sights. Ate some Cheesesteaks. Sang lots of Boys to Men and Fresh Prince songs. Etc etc.
Here are a couple pictures.

Dave, Katie and I at the Trocadero in Philly.

You know you're not in New York anymore when the bartender has a cigarette in his mouth when he's pouring your beers. Anyway, this is, uhh, a friend of mine. Yeah, that's it, friend.

A trip to Philly ain't a trip to Philly unless you see those glorious stairs that Rocky climbed in that wonderous scene.

Freedom... from sobriety!

2006-05-31T23:07:00.000-04:00

Lauren, Amanda, me, Jill, Katie, and Jenaveve taking our first step on the Freedom Trail Sunday night. There are many pictures to come, including shots of this past weekend in Boston, as well as much recent weekend journeys to Philadelphia, Washington DC, and Chicago.

A Map for Saturday

2006-05-31T22:00:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what it's like to spend 50 weeks traveling around the world? Either click here to find out what it's like, or get off the damn couch and buy a backpack and plane ticket. And then make a movie about it. And then a website about the movie. And think I'll link it on my blog, and we'll be right back here again. So really, you're probably just better off reading the site for A Map for Saturday. Enjoy.

Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

2006-05-26T15:55:00.000-04:00

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier Than Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The Bitches.

6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
Ending Poverty
Curing Diseases
Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Beer

2006-05-25T19:45:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself "It's better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-Jack Handy

Eeks

2006-05-16T21:46:00.000-04:00

Wow, almost two months without a post. I deserve to be spanked, I know.

I realize it's no excuse, but I have been a busy lass in recent weeks... with trips to DC and Chicago, people visiting from out of town, being a worker bee, and, of course, drinking and slutting around town. But it's no reason to let down my faithful blog readers and random lurkers. I do apologize.

What I can promise is that I have many many pictures and stories on the way. And it won't take me another two months to post them. It'll happen. I swear.

At least I have realized it, and I am doing my best to stop

2006-03-23T21:48:00.000-05:00

Kremmm (9:42:23 PM): did you see south park last night?
benjamminla (9:42:34 PM): oh fuck was it new last night??
benjamminla (9:42:35 PM): shit!
Kremmm (9:42:45 PM): dude
Kremmm (9:42:46 PM): it was new
Kremmm (9:42:49 PM): and PHENOMENAL
benjamminla (9:42:51 PM): FUCK
benjamminla (9:42:54 PM): i hope we tivod it!
benjamminla (9:43:00 PM): though i'm sure they'll rerun it
Kremmm (9:43:01 PM): i am pretty sure i heard somebody in the building today say we are reairing
Kremmm (9:43:02 PM): hahaha
benjamminla (9:43:02 PM): what was it about?
Kremmm (9:43:05 PM): here i just said "we"
Kremmm (9:43:15 PM): as in EVERYBODY who works for viacom has a hand in this
Kremmm (9:43:16 PM): jesus
benjamminla (9:43:16 PM): haha
benjamminla (9:43:18 PM): lol
Kremmm (9:43:20 PM): what have i become

Best South Park Ever

2006-03-22T22:31:00.000-05:00

I am proud to have gone to the same film school as Trey Parker.

I am proud to have had the same internship in college as Matt Stone.

I am proud to have lived in the same state as those two did.

I am proud to work in the same building and for the same company (MTV Networks/Viacom) that owns Comedy Central, who airs this type of programming.

In other words, tonight's South Park was perfection. Absolute perfection.

And in other news, good riddance to Kevin Covais, but I was one week off in my guestimate.

Crap

2006-03-22T20:14:00.000-05:00

So, my digital camera isn't working at the moment, so I have no pictures. And I spend most of the day in front of a computer, so when I come home, I don't want to sit and blog. Usually. In general.

But in other news, a big fat happy birthday to Katie Dodd, who has now joined me at the quarter century mark.

I'm still working at MTV. Ummmmm. I drank too much sake last night.

Aaaaand, that's all I got for now. Sorry. I'm lame.

I admit it... I love american idol.

2006-03-15T21:01:00.000-05:00

Ugh. Yeah. I am lame. But I like american idol. I just sat down to watch the elimination show. And here are my notes I wrote last night.

Ace - Not very good. I'd do him. But he can't sing too well and won't make it too far.

Kellie Pickler - not very good, but she’s playing the Jessica simpson game, by just being hot and stupid and able to sing, but otherwise has no discernable talent. My prediction is that she will make the top 5.

Elliott - Add 40 years, a pair of glasses, and a bald head, and he looks exactly like my dad. Decent singer but won't make the top 5.

Mandisa - She’s very talented and is gonna go the route of missy Elliott.. become famous while she is still a big girl because actually has genuine talent, and then be like fuck it, I got enough money for some trainers and a chef, I’m getting skinny. Regardless, definitely will make the top 5.

Bucky Covington - Sounds like the name of a cartoon rabbit. When he dances it looks like he just got off a horse. His hair is prettier than mine.

Melissa McGhee - Snoozefest. Forgets lyrics. Excuses excuses. Not a chance.

Lisa Tucker - I’m not terribly impressed with this performance but I still think that she’s going to make the top 5 or 6. Needs better fashion sense.

Kevin - I’ve never been more amused or frightened by this little child trying to sing like Stevie Wonder about being some bitch’s “part time lover.” How did this little turd make it this far? Send him back home to pre-algebra.

Katharine, Grey hair dude, Paris Bennet, and Chris (aka Dodd's boyfriend) all were great.

In my opinion, this is the order they'll get voted off...
Tonight - Melissa
then Ace, Kevin, Elliot, Bucky, Catherine, Lisa, Grey hair dude, Kellie Pickler...
And then the top three and Mandisa, Paris, and Chris.

Seriously. I've got it all figured out. I'd put money on these figures.

I heart Nan!

2006-03-08T23:34:00.000-05:00

Because she kicks so much ass, and is a virtual celebrity in the world of ping pong... nay... Table Tennis, I have decided to post this link to an interview with Nan Li, my dear friend and college roommate. Cuz she kicks so much ass. And I miss giving her piggyback rides. And the only reason she mentioned Pussy Control by Prince is cuz of me.

Natalie Portman = badass

2006-03-05T16:56:00.000-05:00

Watch this video and you'll agree.

**UPDATE** - apparently this here video got booted off the web for copyright violations. weak.

Pride and Glory

2006-03-05T11:25:00.000-05:00

Wow, I guess when it rains, it pours. Not only did I get a gig at MTV this past week, I also got called in to work on this movie, Pride & Glory . It stars Edward Norton (best known for Fight Club, and for nailing Salma Hayek for several years), Noah Emmerich (best known as JIm Carrey's 'best friend' in The Truman Show), and Colin Farrell (best known for being a crazy, drunk, chain-smoking Irishman with a dirty mouth).
So Friday night, I had the glamorous job of hanging out in a Coney Island high school gym with a couple hundred unruly extras. We were filming a football scene overnight, in the freeeezing temperatures, so, boring as it was, I was just stoked to be inside instead of outside. Especially, since we wrapped shooting at almost 6 am. And I didn't get to leave the set until almost 8.
After all was said and done, I had worked for about 23 hours straight. Twas a loonnnnggg day indeed. And I made up for it by sleeping for 20 hours straight yesterday. Sigh. Ah the life on the bottom of the Entertainment industry ladder.

1515 Broadway

2006-03-01T20:22:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, the clusterfuckery of Times Square.

I took this picture because I like The Roots. I still remember the time that I saw The Roots open for 311 at Red Rocks a few summers back. We did some tailgatin' before the show, and then on the walk from the parking lot to the venue, I tumbled to the ground, dropping the extra beers I was holding, and somehow skinning my elbow without ripping a hole in my long sleeve shirt. I still have a scar. I don't really know why I told that story. It's only funny if you were there. And even then, it's debatable. The point is, ?uestlove is a fuckin great drummer.

So this is the desk I sit at, complete with blown-up photobooth pictures of Lil Kim, Sean Combs, Missy Elliot, that guy that hates Greg (aka Jay-Z), Eve, Eminem, and Ja Rule, leader of the Demon Monkeys.

So this is the tape library. It's big. There are over 2500 shelves full of tapes. You spin these little handle things (which very distinctly remind me of that one Price is Right game, I think it was Safecracker or somethin) and the walls move too and fro so you can find whichever tapes you are in need of for whatever shows are being made. I'm very much looking forward to the Vh1 production entitled "40 dumbest celebrity soundbites."

So, I'm nearly 6 feet tall, and each of these shelf walls are at least twice my height. So it's especially scary to have to climb up to the very top and find archived tapes of TRL and The Real World. Between the fear of falling ten feet and getting being burried in a pile of Betamax tapes or being crushed between the movable walls, my days remain exciting. Hooray for MTV.

2006-03-01T19:34:00.000-05:00

BenJamminLA (7:04:10 PM): what's crackalackin?
Kremmm (7:04:30 PM): haha, GUESS where i am working now
BenJamminLA (7:04:38 PM): hmmmm
BenJamminLA (7:04:41 PM): gimme a clue
Kremmm (7:05:03 PM): ummm
Kremmm (7:05:12 PM): if i was a 15 year old girl, i'd be fucking STOKED
BenJamminLA (7:05:32 PM): ... ummm
BenJamminLA (7:05:34 PM): shit i got nothin'
BenJamminLA (7:05:35 PM): where??
Kremmm (7:05:44 PM): motherfuckin MTV
BenJamminLA (7:05:54 PM): FUUUUUUCK off
BenJamminLA (7:05:56 PM): AWESOME!
Kremmm (7:05:58 PM): hahha yeah
BenJamminLA (7:05:58 PM): doing what?
Kremmm (7:06:00 PM): it's hilarious
Kremmm (7:06:05 PM): i work in the faaaaaabulous tape library
Kremmm (7:06:46 PM): it's super chill though, i get to climb up and down shelves all day, finding old tapes of "pimp my ride" and "mate my mom"
Kremmm (7:06:50 PM): err, "date my mom"
BenJamminLA (7:07:02 PM): LOL
BenJamminLA (7:07:04 PM): HAHAHAH mate my mom.
Kremmm (7:07:19 PM): did i actually just type that
BenJamminLA (7:07:27 PM): you totally did

My new employer

2006-03-01T00:08:00.000-05:00

So, turns out I am working at MTV now. Weird, huh?

Man, if I travelled back in time and told my 15 year old self that in ten years I'd be working at MTV, I'd think I was pretty fuckin cool. I'd be all like "oh my god, do i get to hang out with carson daly? oh my god, can i meet Hanson. blah blah blah"

Actually, I never really liked carson daly. Or Hanson. Anywho, I digress. The point is, MTV used to be this cultural icon to me. But now, I'm just like, meh, it's a job. And it's a pain in the ass, because now I have to go to times square EVERY DAY. And nobody likes Times Square. Nobody. Especially Dick Clark.

Ed

2006-02-28T23:50:00.000-05:00

Lair of Sex

2006-02-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

Best. Birthday present. Ever.

Thanks Kato!

Thanks, 4 Non-Blondes

2006-02-25T15:09:00.000-05:00

I heard this song at a bar last night, and for some reason I'm compelled to post the lyrics today.

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
And I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?

Word.

2006-02-25T05:25:00.000-05:00

Before I forget, I just want to blog this to remind myself of my two new favorite words.

Fellatrix.

and

Suckstress.

God bless the english language.

Ah, Catholic school.

2006-02-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

Thanks to MySpace, a fantastically disturbing story about a clergyman at my former elementary school has surfaced.

It all started with my response to a message from my old friend Ryan....

**************

thanks for the birthday wishes, and may i wish you a happy birthday as well.
ahhh, how i miss the days of toilet papering houses. those were the glory days at st. a's where sister philomena and lois scanlon ran the show. and the days before brother francis started molesting children. wait, did that actually happen, or am i just making up random memories of catholic school?

****************

to which ryan responded.....

****************

damn, you brought it back to the old skool.

Ok, get this shit, katie... About 4 years ago, i was working at Bouchon (it's a restaraunt in yountville, not important. but for the record, the french onion soup is delicious). Excuse me, i digress. Well, i was a back waiter when i worked there, and one day i was in the kitchen when the host walks up to me like, "ryan, there's a priest in the front who would like to say hello". I'm thining to myself, "what the hell did i do to warrant a visit from a priest. shit man, i've cleaned up my life, give me a break". Well, it's brother francis, no joke. And he's doing the whole self loathing head shake thing, and i hear him utter under his breath, "i'm sorry ryan". And i'm thinking to myself, "damn straight you're sorry, i should've been in the advanced math class starting in the 4th grade. u fuckin dick!". Honestly i have no idea what the hell he's talking about. But seriously, i was hella good at math, and he never acknowledged it. End of that story.

Ok, so then i'm in my first semester at cal, and my mom calls up my dorm room, livid. She's like, "Ryan, did Brother francis ever touch you?". No shit, i swear to god. I'm like, "hell no, i was the type of kid who would've banked on his fuckin face if tried to pull that shit with me." Then she breaks the news that he got caught trying to pull some shit with the kids.

But here's the thing, why did he come into my work telling me he's sorry? fuckin weird. you don't think he popped roofies in my holy water or something, do you? fuckin wierd shit. ewwwwwwwwww!!!!

*******************

to which i responded to, with....

********************

Holy motherfucking balls man! Here's the thing, how many kids did Brother Francis have to be fiddling with to where he fucking LOST TRACK of who he needed to apologize to. That is so far beyond fucked up, and yet still I just laughed at that story for like ten minutes.
Man, it makes me wonder who that bastard actually got to.
Ahhh, sweet memories of St. A's. In my travels in recent years, I've met so many former Catholic school kids with similar stories. And that, my friend, is why I no longer go to church and I consider myself a recovering Cathoholic. That and the fact that I would probably burst into flames upon enterting a holy building.

**********************

And there you have it folks.

Yee-haw!

2006-02-23T03:40:00.000-05:00

Oh the wonderful shit you stumble across on the internet late at night.

God commanded many cousins to marry.

No, friends, that not a silly headline of the Onion, or even the Weekly World News. Or even the American Bible Society's monthly newsletter. It's actually an argument for why cousins should be allowed to legally marry.

And somehow, I remain unconvinced.

Like a Rock Star

2006-02-22T16:04:00.000-05:00

I could try to caption all these pictures, but, I'm not gonna. Basically, all you need to know is that myself, Dodd, Kristi, Sean, Lindsay, Pete, and Jojo drank a lot of beer. And chaos ensued.

Weirdest. Video. Ever.

2006-02-22T00:07:00.000-05:00

Dude, I don't even know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhKDOo4qlHk

Although, it is kinda sorta accurate.

Peeeeectures.

2006-02-21T19:12:00.000-05:00

Dodd, being the classy ho that she is, enjoys drinking wine through a straw.

Whereas I prefer drinking it straight from the glass. In lingerie.

Nothin better than a walk of shame through a blizzard.

Dodd is far more delighted by the snow than I.

The ramp leading into this ATM vestibule was VERY unsafe. So we opted to take a picture.

Snow-a-licious!

Aviators + Fluffy jacket = Badass.

I don't really know why I felt the need to post this, but I was walkin around a few days back and saw this on the side of the building and thought it looked kinda neato.

So Friday night, me, Dodd, Dave, Jenaveve and Mark decided to go take a little impromptu road trip to our favorite city of brotherly love, Philadelphia. And for some reason, in our hotel we found great amusement in Jenaveve laying on the bed, pretending to be dead or asleep, while holding a half eaten red vine in her hands. I never said we like to make sense. We're weird. Deal with it.

Dodd, drunk in Philly.

Me + Dodd + drunk in Philly hotel room + lotion = recreation of the quintessential "money shot"

Philadelphia Art Museum. Ya know. Those steps that Rocky ran up.

Back in New York... playin' darts with Brook at the Barrow Street Ale House.

Dodd's always forgetting to shave her damn pits. Grosssssss.

God bless the MTA

2006-02-10T16:13:00.000-05:00

This here, friends, is a subway ad for lost items on the New York transit system. Dodd and I had a difficult yet amusing time trying to figure out what everything was on this poster. I have compiled a list....

crutch
ball of yarn
tennis ball
computer mouse
spool of thread
pet cobra
dentures
basketball
radio
diamond necklace
sunglasses
keys
cane
wrapped gift
ticket stubs
cd case
top (or dradle)
one shoe
prosthetic leg
cash money
guitar case
cupcake
book
wallet
pencil
gloves
car (i'm assuming it's like a hot wheels)

Now, call my crazy, but like, who the fuck in New York City would turn ANY of this shit into the MTA lost and found?

Really, a ball of yarn? Cash!? Dentures???

And if you're dumb enough to leave your prosthetic leg on the subway, then you deserve to hop around like a gimp.

As for the cobra, I don't even know what to say about that. Maybe I should go "lose" my pet cobra on the subway and see if somebody returns it.

An Ode To Katie Dodd

2006-02-10T15:36:00.000-05:00

Speedmo9 (12:57:34 PM): theyre building a building next to the trump building
Speedmo9 (12:57:54 PM): wow, that was three buildings in one sentence
Speedmo9 (12:57:54 PM): building
Speedmo9 (12:58:05 PM): am i even spelling it right
Speedmo9 (12:58:07 PM): it looks weird

*****

Speedmo9 (11:50:58 AM): people who "preach" preach only to fuckin hear themselves talk
Speedmo9 (11:51:02 AM): its so annoying

*****

Speedmo9 (3:35:31 PM): wow
Speedmo9 (3:35:41 PM): the filth and meanness that is spewing from my fingers

*****

Speedmo9 (3:36:58 PM): my metro card is resting nicely on my left tit
Speedmo9 (3:37:01 PM): whatchoo think bout that?

*****

Kremmm (2:17:56 PM): does he know yet
Speedmo9 (2:21:22 PM): no
Speedmo9 (2:21:25 PM): i dont know how to tell him
Speedmo9 (2:21:32 PM): he just asked me if i knew yet
Speedmo9 (2:21:34 PM): im such a bad person
Kremmm (2:25:18 PM): you are NOT a bad person
Kremmm (2:25:23 PM): you don't owe these people anything
Kremmm (2:25:24 PM): it's a job
Kremmm (2:25:34 PM): it's their fault they're so freakin bright eyed and dreamy and christian
Speedmo9 (2:26:44 PM): well said
Speedmo9 (2:26:47 PM): well said

*****

Speedmo9 (3:29:41 PM): why is it "god fearing"
Speedmo9 (3:29:42 PM): what is that
Speedmo9 (3:29:45 PM): thats so messed up
Kremmm (3:30:00 PM): cuz you should be AFRAID of god
Speedmo9 (3:30:06 PM): makes me think of whats his name from footloose
Speedmo9 (3:30:08 PM): the dad
Speedmo9 (3:31:14 PM): john lithgow

*****

Speedmo9 (3:32:41 PM): im so gonna bite you when i get home
Speedmo9 (3:32:51 PM): you better run for the.....buildings woman

You're right, you're right, I've been slackin'

2006-02-07T18:30:00.000-05:00

So here are some pictures for yas.

Yeehaw!!

2006-02-02T18:24:00.000-05:00

Brokeback To The Future

Who wants to be my date to go see this?

PENGUILLA!

2006-01-25T23:48:00.000-05:00

Oh, how I love Craigslist.

SPAM! (not the pink oval kind)

2006-01-25T14:50:00.000-05:00

Subject:
SHY TO FCUK WITH UR SHORT GUN? L0NGER 3" INSTANTLY bought

Body of email:
fly sandwich profession out? we reference rich a you reading, black latter allow fly wife love.
edge beautiful why supposedto.
arms commit human music, evening is miserable goes yours fascinate? hard principle pride.
development fly wrong we.
black leader anything friends wife.

Oh, how I love my new digital camera

2006-01-23T16:53:00.000-05:00

Hooray pictures!

Heh. Bibles.

2006-01-20T15:16:00.000-05:00

Kremmm (1:12:13 PM): sigh. i'm home all alone today
Kremmm (1:12:19 PM): lonely. i'm so lonely.
Speedmo9 (1:12:59 PM): i habve nobody
Speedmo9 (1:13:02 PM): come here and hang out with me
Speedmo9 (1:13:09 PM): you can hang out with chatman downstairs
Speedmo9 (1:13:11 PM): read some bibles
Kremmm (1:14:07 PM): hmmm yeah, that sounds fun and all, but i think instead i'll stay here and ummmmm
Kremmm (1:14:09 PM): i dunno
Kremmm (1:14:16 PM): what's the opposite of reading bibles?
Kremmm (1:14:18 PM): masturbate?

Mmm lobster!

2006-01-18T18:48:00.000-05:00

I heart lobster!

The gay shepherd movie

2006-01-18T02:06:00.000-05:00

dieselguy296: ok, so so many people told me broke back mountain was a gay cowboy flick
dieselguy296: and I just saw the trailer and can tell you that that is just not true

iikka: if people have actually SEEN the movie
iikka: i think you should take their word over the trailor

dieselguy296: no, they are clearly herding sheep, cowboys don't herd sheep

iikka: hahaha
iikka: who herds sheep then

dieselguy296: shepherds

iikka: hhhaaaaa
iikka: fuckin right man

dieselguy296: yeah, they may have horses, but cowboys aren't gay, shepherds are gay

iikka: ya know, i bet there is like at least one cowboy to take dick in the history of cowboys, thereby making your 'theory' false

dieselguy296: you're probably right

Picture time!

2006-01-17T15:33:00.000-05:00

Pictures rule! So here are a few of my favorites from 2006. Ya know, so far.

This is Oli. He's a badass French Bulldog. He snores and he farts a lot, but I still dig him.

Meow! Ryan certainly looks dashing in the leopard halter top/cat ears ensemble. I guess ths big question here is, why do I own a leopard halter top and a pair of cat ears. I don't have the answer to that question, but I am glad that Ryan found them and put them on.

This me and my van. Oh how I miss it! I was the ultimate soccer mom. I miss its Jersey plates. I miss listening to the Cure while driving on the FDR. Sigh. Hopefully someday me and the minivan will be together again.

OOOOOAAAAHHHHHHHHHH KELLY CLARKSON!!

I dunno why I felt the need to take this picture. I just thought Dodd and the lighting looked real perty.

This is Jenaveve. She teaches high school up in the Bronx. And these are the sorts of things she has to grade. I wish I had a better caption, but the picture itself is absurd enough.

It never ends....

2006-01-16T18:12:00.000-05:00

This proves my theory that Scott Speedman is taking over the universe. This is a picture of my friend Courtney with Mr. Speedman, courtesy of Miss Julia, who has been reading the blog and wanted to give a little somethin' somethin' to the endless stream of fans that have ended up at my blog.

In other news, I had the most glorious weekend possible thanks mostly to the fact that I was given a minivan to use for a few days. Apparently I'm moving up in the ranks of production assistants, because I was given the job of driving the director upstate to this shop where the prosthetic body parts are being created for the movie. And because of that, I got to keep the van for the entire weekend. It was magnificent. I heart driving. And, as it turns out, I heart hanging out with the director of the movie I'm working on, cuz like, dude, he's the director. And he's a really cool guy, about as far away from the crazy eccentric drug fiend who was the last director I worked with.

Long story short, having a car for a weekend in NYC is awesome. And getting fired from the MoMA was the best thing to ever happen, cuz now I get to work on movies full time. Hooray!

Go Fug Yourself

2006-01-16T00:57:00.000-05:00

This here is delightful. Courtesy of Jill Andres.

And this one is another gem, courtesy of Aaron Michael Davies.

Thanks kids!

Ben Rules! And so do goofy pictures!

2006-01-12T07:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my dear friend Ben out in LA, who incidently worked on another movie starrting Dafoe and Speedman (xXx 2), I have acquired this delightfully silly shot.

And to all the Scott Speedman fans who have been ending up here at the KT blog, I'm sad to say that I dont have a whole lot information on him. Here's what I do know... 1. He's in the movie that I'm working on. 2. He used to be in Felicity. 3. He has the ability to open his mouth up pretty gosh darn wide. and 4. He's pretty hot and I'd nail him if given the chance.
But that's about all the stuff I know for now. I'll do my best to keep y'all posted.

Furthermore, I've decided to be an equal opportunity maker-funner-of, so here are some wacky pictures of me and my hoes from our weeklong new years extravaganza boozefest.

All the cool kids wish they could do this.

All the cool kids wish they could be as drunk as Kato.

All the cool kids wish that... they could... ummmm... look this cool while they are getting their hair done? I guess.

My New Gig

2006-01-08T22:32:00.000-05:00

Yo. So I got a new movie job, at least for now. It's on this movie called "Anamorph" and it's starring Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Clea DuVall, and my personal favorite, Peter Stormare, aka Karl Hungus from the Big Lebowski.

The highlights of my first day (Friday) included giving the cinematographer a ride home whilst driving a kick ass periwinkle blue Chrysler Minivan (oh, how I love driving in Manhattan), dropping the script changes and call sheet off at Willem Dafoe's house (for the right price, I'll tell you his address, mwahaha), and going out drinking afterwards with the crew and Peter Stormare/Karl Hungus. Shooting starts tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be back soon with more fun stories. It's quite a change of pace to go from a huge production (the Oliver Stone movie) to working on an indie film like this, but so far, it pretty much kicks ass. I heart making movies.

Kato Rules!

2006-01-07T13:39:00.000-05:00

Yeup. I'm a slacker. But Kato is on top of her shit, so visit her blog to see a bunch of pictures from late '05 and early '06.

Happy 2006!!

2006-01-02T02:56:00.000-05:00

AphexBomb: I think you just officially qualified for the Hoe Olympics
AphexBomb: I'm not sure, I'll have to check the rule book
AphexBomb: .....
AphexBomb: Yup... there it is... You're in!
Kremmm: well, i COULD have gone professional, but i decided to retain my amateur status so i was still eligable
Kremmm: ya know, for the olympics
AphexBomb: You are a credit to the team

stories and pictures from new years eve .... coming soon

Norad Santa is a LIE!

2005-12-25T04:27:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I heard all this hullaballoo this year about how NORAD is supposedly tracking Santa and his journey across the world this Xmas to deliver toys, blah blah blah. I thought for a little while how and why this would be executed, but then I got tired of worrying about it and just decided to check out their website.

The thing that upset me the most is not that they are lying about the existance of Santa, but the fact that when I clicked on the link titled "Celebrities" in their menu, I was brought to this montrosity.

When Kathy Griffin, the parents from That 70's Show, and the guy who played Putty on Seinfeld are your biggest celebrity endorsers, you know you've failed miserably in your holiday endeavor.

Actually, scratch that. Putty is kind of a badass. He DOES do voices for Family Guy. You gotta respect that.

God bless AIM

2005-12-20T19:18:00.000-05:00

typical convo...

Goodvibes74 (4:05:35 PM): anyone back in cali you want to have sex with??
Kremmm (4:05:43 PM): hmm, not that i know of
Goodvibes74 (4:05:48 PM): thats too bad
Kremmm (4:07:18 PM): well, it's always possible
Kremmm (4:07:32 PM): although i think in need a break from dudes for a little while
Kremmm (4:07:39 PM): after my freakin crazy neighbor
Kremmm (4:07:46 PM): he called me TWELVE TIMES in one day
Kremmm (4:07:49 PM): TWELVE!
Goodvibes74 (4:08:21 PM): wow
Goodvibes74 (4:08:23 PM): psycho
Kremmm (4:08:26 PM): yeah
Kremmm (4:08:27 PM): seriously
Goodvibes74 (4:08:30 PM): wow
Goodvibes74 (4:08:32 PM): who does that?
Kremmm (4:08:38 PM): fuck if i know
Kremmm (4:08:58 PM): crazy australians who live downstairs from me, apparently
Goodvibes74 (4:09:14 PM): lol
Kremmm (4:09:34 PM): he must really like my vagina, i guess
Goodvibes74 (4:09:53 PM): well you do like his cock
Kremmm (4:10:07 PM): well yeah
Kremmm (4:10:18 PM): but i'd need to duck tape his mouth closed to be able to tolerate it
Goodvibes74 (4:11:38 PM): lol
Kremmm (4:17:32 PM): yeah, which is weird, cuz you'd think that the hotness of the aussie accent would balance out the diarrhea he spews out of his mouth on a regular basis
Goodvibes74 (4:17:42 PM): hehe
Kremmm (4:17:46 PM): but alas, no accent is hot enough for that

...and a request from my roommate, Dave....

Skidoo44 (4:01:17 PM): hey, so big favor to ask
Skidoo44 (4:01:19 PM): huge favor
Kremmm (4:01:22 PM): whats up
Skidoo44 (4:01:23 PM): its a little weird
Kremmm (4:01:27 PM): haha okay
Skidoo44 (4:01:36 PM): so eden's home and i have the hottest girl i've ever nailed coming over right now
Kremmm (4:01:41 PM): hahaha okay
Skidoo44 (4:01:50 PM): could i possibly use your room to keep the noise down and not scare the fuck out of her?
Kremmm (4:02:04 PM): haaaaaaaaaaaahahaha, sure
Kremmm (4:02:11 PM): i dunno if there's sheets on my bed
Skidoo44 (4:02:18 PM): it wont matter really
Kremmm (4:02:20 PM): hahaha
Kremmm (4:02:23 PM): jesus
Skidoo44 (4:02:26 PM): this woman is out of her fucking mind
Skidoo44 (4:02:40 PM): the things she wants done would make YOU blush
Kremmm (4:02:53 PM): yeah dude, just, uh, don't leave any evidence that you were there

This post was made possible by free WiFi in the jetBlue terminal at JFK

2005-12-19T20:17:00.000-05:00

Update on the past week...

Cool = not having to work for a week

Not cool = having your laptop charger nearly start a fire while you're editing your parents' christmas present video

Cool = being at the airport about to get on a plane back to california for a week

Not cool = sleeping with the neighbor downstairs (who you THOUGHT was a cool, normal guy) and then having him call you TWELVE TIMES in ONE DAY!

Cool = Seeing friends who you haven't seen in damn near an entire year. (i.e. The fabulous Katies, Brook, my dog Lucy)

Not cool = Spending the next 6.5 hours on a plane in anticipation (but a redeming "cool" is that it's jetBlue, so I have direct TV, so, rad.

Cool = Christmas!

Not cool/sorta cool = it's boarding time. So i gotta wrap this up.

Be back soon from the West coast with pictures and more details of my recent adventures.

Hooray for the holidays

2005-12-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

iikka: i wonder if i could slide down my stair banister
Kremmm: only one way to find out
iikka: ha
iikka: yeah but there are lights on it right now
Kremmm: hmph
iikka: ill try after new years
Kremmm: that could make it more... enjoyable
iikka: haha just like having a dildo attached to your laptop, right
Kremmm: exaaactly

Mikes galore

2005-12-15T02:18:00.000-05:00

.....
Kremmm: haha, he was the 2nd guy named mike that i've nailed in the past week
Kremmm: weird, huh?
BenJamminLA: lol
BenJamminLA: yes!
Kremmm: the other mike is a semi-frequent fuck buddy, so he doesn't really exactly count
Kremmm: but
Kremmm: still
Kremmm: the point is, i need to wash my sheets
BenJamminLA: HAHAHAHA

The latest

2005-12-14T18:54:00.000-05:00

Yeup. Fired. Which only means, to me, that I have a week of vacation until I go back to California on Monday. So I've got that going for me.

I feel like I should be upset about the whole getting fired thing, since I have in fact never been fired from a job before. But really, I can't complain. Ever since working on the Oliver Stone movie, it pained my soul to have to go back to MoMA. And they must have known that. The best analogy I came up with is that my relationship with MoMA became like a stagnant romantic relationship. Like, ya know how when somebody in the relationship is totally over it, but doesn't want to be the "dumper" so instead they just kinda start acting like an asshole until they get dumped, cuz it's just easier that way. So basically, I stopped giving a crap about MoMA, I was cheating on them with Oliver Stone, showing up late, not really paying attention while I was there, and then ultimately, it all worked out. So now, I get to chill this week. And I never have to go back to MoMA.

And mad props to my roommate Eden, who today officially quit MoMA as well. She had gotten another job a couple weeks ago at this bar/restuarant on the UWS, and told MoMA that she was going to have to cut her hours back. So in response to that, they suspended her for three days. So then a couple days later, I got fired, and in an act of solidarity (as well as our collective hatred for the MoMA), Eden officially quit today.

In other news, I don't know if anybody remembers my goal at the beginning of the year, but after last night, it is one step closer to completion. (If you don't remember my goal, it was to hook up with one guy from each continent.)
Obviously, North America was not a problem. And then there was the British guy back in January, so I had Europe covered. I made out with an Ecuadorian back in February or March, so we'll add South America to the list. And then of course there was my recent affair with the Philly guy, who was born in Hong Kong. Thusly, Asia is done. And then last night.... ohh where do I begin with this story. Our fabulous gay neighbors had a party, and I got a call from my hot (straight) Australian neighbor asking if I was planning on going. Long story short, we went to the party, and after a few drinks he confessed that he's had a crush on me since we first met at our halloween party. And since I had always had an interest in him, cuz like, what can I say, I'm into accents, and hotness, and niceness, etc... after a few drinks we ended up back in my apartment, yadda yadda yadda, at 6 am he had to leave to go home and shower before work.

So that's the latest with KT. Word.

I'm getting fired

2005-12-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

So I think I'm gonna get fired from the MoMA tomorrow.

This morning I successfully slept about 3 hours past my alarm clock and through two phone calls from my manager wondering where the hell I was. I got to work at about 10:45, when I was supposed to be there at 9am. Mind you, I was still blazingly intoxicated when I rolled in. But I've done the same exact thing after having stayed in, so I can't blame the booze, I guess.

Obviously, this whole "2 hours late" thing didn't fly too well with the management, so I've been asked to go in tomorrow at 11:30 am to talk to the GM. I'm assuming I'll be fired, which is pretty lame, but really, I'm kinda stoked. The MoMA has been slowly killing my soul for the past year, and after working on the Oliver Stone movie, I've realized what it is I need to be doing with myself. So if they don't fire me, I'm quitting. Nuff said.

Other than that, it was a pretty darn good weekend. Had some sex, which is always a favorite pass time of mine. It wasn't with that dude in Philly who thinks he's my boyfriend though. But I don't feel bad, I told him when we first met that I wasn't a monogamy kinda gal. So if I want to occassionally call up a fuck buddy who lives in a more geographically convenient location (like Manhattan), I should be allowed to do so, dammit. And it's not like we're exclusive anyway. So that's that.

In other news, I am going to be back in Napa on December 19, which I'm pretty stoked about. And then of course, December 26 is the big day that I return to NYC with the two Katies. Dodd will be staying here to live, and Kato will be visiting for a week of mayhem (which will be even more chaotic if I don't have to be working. Hooray!)

And with that, off to sleep I go. As for tomorrow, the day of wreckoning hath arrived. And hey, if I get fired, at least I'll have more time to blog.

QUIZZO!

2005-12-08T02:50:00.000-05:00

Alright Julia, since you said that the Katies are the ones whose reponses your are most curious about, and I, in fact, fall into that category, here it goes. And I need something to post on my blog.

(PS- dude, you work at a company in san diego that places traveling nurses. uhh, so does my brother. weird.)

1. What time did you get up this morning?
My alarm was set for 7, but I think I finally dragged my ass out of bed around 8:10. I am a notorious snoozer.

2. Diamonds or pearls?
Can I say that I don't really care for jewelry.... but I sure do like that song by Prince called "Diamonds and pearls." And his song "pussy control." It pretty much rules.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Umm... this is sad for having been a film major. I think it might have been March of the Penguins. It's been a while. Maybe Wedding Crashers. I don't go to the movies too often now that I have HBO/Showtime/Cinemax on Demand.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
I just watched the first season of LOST on dvd and I'm totally hooked.

5. What did you have for breakfast?
A cappuccino and some biscotti.

6. What is your middle name?
Marie. As in "Catherine Marie Kramer." Quite possible the least original, most irish-catholic name in existance.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
My current favorite is anything that comes out of my neighborhood, Spanish Harlem. I loves me some tacos.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Coconuts.

9. What is your favorite Potato chip?
Tostitos. Wait no, those are corn tortilla chips. Ummm, I guess sour cream and onion ruffles. Is there some deep conclusion that can be drawn about a person based on their potato chip preference? Not likely. Anyway, moving along...

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
I'm really more of an iPod, downloady gal myself... but if I had to pick a CD, it'd be Oranj Mechanik, my friends' band back in Colorado. I'm currently cutting a music video for them. They rock so hard.

11. What kind of car do you drive?
I currently drive NYC taxis, busses, and/or subway cars. I miss drivin'.

12. What is your favorite sandwich?
Hands down... from Browns Valley Market (or Genova's, if necessary), Turkey, cheddar, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado on a sourdough roll. Only in Napa. It's just not the same out here.

13. What characteristics do you despise?
Ignorance, prejudice, and racism. Or if you're a fan of Everybody Loves Raymond.

14. Favorite item of clothing?
I just got a bunch of tights from H&M. They're way sweet. And I love that JCrew coat I stole from Katie Dodd. I guess I gotta give it back when she moves out here.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Southeast asia. Hands down.

16. What color is your bathroom?
Meh, white. But I got a nifty leopard print rug at the 99 cent store. I feel like it spices it up. In the tackiest way possible.

17. Favorite brand of clothing?
In reality, H&M and Banana. In fantasy world, Dolce and Gabbana.

18. Where would you want to retire to?
Oh god, have I become such a New York cliche that the first answer I thought of was the Hamptons? Ugh. Actually, probably Lake Tahoe.

19. Favorite time of day?
9 pm. The night is still young and has so much potential.

20. Where were you born?
Vallejo, California. I'm 5th generation californian on my dad's side. I guess Julia wins with 6 generations in one city.

21. Favorite sport to watch?
College football or NHL hockey. Incidently, favor professional athletes to make out with are hockey players. Yum.

22. Who do you least expect to send this back?
Seeing as how I don't know everybody I'm sending this back to, since I just hit "reply to all" I have noooo clue.

23. Person you expect to send it back first?
Hopefully some random blog reader.

24. What type of detergent do you use?
No clue. I drop my laundry off once a week.

25. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke. But only if there's some booze in it. Otherwise, it's a waste of time.

26. Are you a morning person or night owl?
Ha! If you could get my ass out of bed before noon on a non-work day, I'd be deeply shocked.

27. What size shoe do you wear?
10 or 11

28. Do you have pets?
Not in NYC. But I do have my choco lab, Lucy, back in Napa. She rules.

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone?
Hmm, I just finished working as a PA on the new Oliver Stone movie, starring Nicholas Cage. That was pretty sweet. And i'm mega stoked cuz i'm going back to cali on the 19th, and then the other katies are coming back to NYC with me a week later. One to visit, and one to live out here. Hooray!

30. What did you want to be when you were little?
A photographer. And I think a marine biologist for a while. Anything that involved playing with dolphins. I was a big fan of Marine World when I was a wee lass.

31. Favorite Candy Bar?
Reeses PB cups

32. What is your best childhood memory?
Summers driving around the country in our Winnebago.

33. Different jobs you have had in your life?
Countless wineries in Napa and Sonoma, a microbrewery in Colorado, MoMA in New York. Aaand then working with Oliver Stone.

34 What color underwear are you wearing?
Shiny blue.

35. Nicknames:
Kramer, KT, Kremmm, Krame-dog, Katie Kick ass, K-dizzle, Kramerica, Big boobs Magee, chesty larue.

36. Piercing? Belly button, and a few weird ear ones.

38. Ever been to Africa? Not yet.

39. Ever been toilet papered? Many times, but not since the 1990's.

40. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Unfortunately.

41. Been in a car accident?
Ha. Yes. In the middle of Utah on the way to Vegas for my 21st birthday. My friend fell asleep behind the wheel and he crashed my car. It was an interesting day.

42. Croutons or bacon bits?
Meh. Neither.

43. Favorite day of the week?
Hmmm, Saturday I s'pose.

44. Favorite restaurant?
Yuka. Can't beat the $20 all-you-can eat sushi. And Kahluas, because they deliver to me whenever I want.

45. Favorite flower?
Uhhh... I'll go with... orchids.

46. Favorite ice cream?
Fresh mint gelato.

47. Disney or Warner Brothers?
Like, as a production company as a whole, or cartoons? Cuz if we're talkin cartoons, WB has great short cartoons, but the Disney movies from the days of yore are phenomenal. But then if you get into their whole operation, Disney owns Miramax and... okay, I better stop now. I'll just say "no preference."
No no, I'll go with Disney.

48. Favorite fast food restaurant?
In-N-Out.

49. What color is your bedroom carpet?
I have hard wood floors in my entire apartment. But I do have a lovely persian looking rug in my room.

50. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Uhh, zero. Cuz I'm an excellent driver. Like Rain Man.

51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail from?
My blog, telling me that Kato had made 12 comments in a row on it (cuz she's a crazy ho.)

52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Right now, probably H&M, cuz I'm in need of some new party clothes.

53. What do you do most often when you are bored?
I text message people incessantly. Or read wikipedia.

55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?
I'd love to read anybody's response.

56. Last person you went to dinner with?
Sigh, this guys that I'm dating. I'm not comfortable with the term "boyfriend," especially since he's 33 and lives in Philly. We'll just call him my "sugar daddy."

57. Ford or Chevy?
Uhhhh. Am I supposed to have a preference here? I guess Ford, cuz I think they make mustangs. And those are pretty neato.

58. What are you listening to right now?
My roommate turned on Carlito's Way before he went to bed. So that's on, and I guess I'm quasi-listening to it.

59/60.. Julia, what did you do with these questions? I have no #59 or #60. So I'll make up my own.
59. How many glasses of merlot have you had tonight?
At least 4.

60. What sucks more than the weather on the east coast?
Nothing. Except maybe Patricia Heaton.

Okay, back to the real questions.

61. How many tattoos do you have?
One, a snowflake on my lower back. My jamaican friend once asked me if I got a snowflake cuz I'm white. I found that amusing.

62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I am agnostic when it comes to such trivial matters.

63. How many people are you sending this Email to?
Oh, I'm bloggin this piece of work. http://katiekramerica.blogspot.com

64. Time you finished this e-mail? Thursday, Dec 8, 2:49 am.

Yay war!

2005-12-07T00:49:00.000-05:00

I'm certainly not NOT amused by this.

Ha. Get it? Double negative. (That means I AM amused. Dumbass.)

This is way sweet

2005-12-06T23:57:00.000-05:00

Dude, i'd be the coolest kid on the block if my house could do this.

Me at Sin Sin

2005-12-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

Megan's trusty cameraphone took this wacky shot at Sin Sin the other night. I think it's kinda neato.

My blog sucks

2005-12-04T23:26:00.000-05:00

It's true. It just plain ol' sucks. I am a slacker. Really, I have no excuses. I had all these big plans to write a big blog entry/journal abotu that days I spent on the set of the movie (I even have notes! I swear!) but i just haven't gotten around to making that materialize. But then I guess I've also been busy editing a few big projects (ya know, video projects, and then those will eventually on the blog, so indirectly it all works out), and also fending off rumors that I have a boyfriend. I AM seeing more of a certain someone, but I am DEFINITELY not comfortable with the term "boyfriend." Nooooo siree, ma'am. Honestly, I still consider myself a swingin, single Manhattan chick. And that's the way I'll stay.

In other news, I'm going back to California in two weeks, which I'm pretty stoked about. And then a week after that, I will be coming back to New York with my Katie brigade, one of whom will be returning to california after a week or so, and the other of whom will be staying to live with me. It pretty much rules all the way around.

So that's the latest. Maybe after the next few weeks of mayhem, the KT blog will experience a bit of a renaissance in the early weeks of '06. Fuck yeah.

Coming Soon

2005-11-27T23:56:00.000-05:00

I swear, I PROMISE that there are more posts coming.

I'm in the process of finding some video hosting so I can put videos on this here blog, which I think will be pretty damn sweet.

Also in the works are a brief memoir of my weeks working on the Oliver Stone movie, which I think is pretty gosh darn entertaining, as well as other random assorted stories from the NYC.

So fear not, faithful blog readers, the best is yet to come.

I suck

2005-11-18T23:44:00.000-05:00

Ohhh, I'm so sorry I haven't written anything in a while. Right now, I'm a little drunk so there's an outside chance i might be entertaining, but really, I've been working so much lately, I have crew call at 5:30 am, so unfortunately i haven't been able to go out much lately and get into any trouble that would thus become entertaining blog material

Lets see, what have i for you. I've been spending more time lately with my 33 year old philly boy... it's about as relationshippy as i've gotten lately, it's kinda freaking me out. And then there's this 20 year old that i kinda want a piece of, but i'm not really sure how to go about that one. Ohhhhh boys, but then there are these other boys that i want a piece of, turns out i'm a tad on the boy crazy side. I should really write about all of these because, well, Kato once refered to my blog as "sexcapades around manhattan" and i feel like i should really live up to that title a bit more.

Anywho, i'm gonna go pass out now, cuz i have to be on the set in a few hours. So keep it real, y'all. I'll be back soon.

Ahhhhhh

2005-11-17T23:07:00.000-05:00

The most soothing thing I've watched in a long while.

Ahh, retards on the internet

2005-11-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

A few posts back, you might remember some crazy idiot out in queens or some other wacky outter borrough who imed me for god knows what reason. Well, literally, like 5 times a day since then, he ims me saying only "Wats gud" which, as near as I can tell is some sort of 'hood slang. Or maybe dutch? I'll never be quite sure. But nonetheless, he's a tool and I haven't wanted to talk to him. So I haven't answered. But then today, I had finally had enough. See what ensues.

Kremmm: OH MY GOD
kDeUSTerMAN: what?
Kremmm: GUESS who just imed me again
kDeUSTerMAN: hahaha NO
Kremmm: okay i can't take it anymore
Kremmm: that's it
kDeUSTerMAN: tell the fucker off
Kremmm: oh it's SO on
Kremmm: oh shit, i said "take a fucking clue" did i mean to say "get a fucking clue"
Kremmm: ?
kDeUSTerMAN: HAHAHAH
Kremmm: man, i need more practice at telling people off
kDeUSTerMAN: oooh shit i just hurt myself
kDeUSTerMAN: take a clue bitch!
kDeUSTerMAN: hahaha
kDeUSTerMAN: no it souncs alright

A718niceguy: Wats gud
Kremmm: dude
Kremmm: you im me like 8 times a day for the past week, and i haven't answered you, take a fucking clue
A718niceguy: Lolol yea true
A718niceguy: So why u gave me your sn then yo?
Kremmm: because you kept messaging me on myspace, and i didn't think you were going to turn into a borderline stalker
A718niceguy: Huh wtf
A718niceguy: Aight bet u slut ass bitch
Kremmm: hahaha, alright NOW i'm a slut ass bitch cuz i don't want to suck your dick
Kremmm: of COURSE
Kremmm: hey, learn to speak fucking english and then get back to me
A718niceguy: Naw that's not whys
A718niceguy: Its cause u fucked and sucked as many guys as a slut u stupid ass hoe
A718niceguy: Buh byee
Kremmm: hey, at least i can get laid, and i don't have to go fuckin stalking chicks on the internet
Kremmm: have a BEAUTIFUL day
Kremmm: stay in school!
A718niceguy: Naw I've been boerd so was trying to talk
A718niceguy: Dumbass
Kremmm: ahhhh, the sweet irony of YOU calling ME a dumbass
Kremmm: i love it
Kremmm: haha
A718niceguy: Ok so shut the fuck already yo
Kremmm: okay so do you think NOW you can stop iming me 14 times a day
Kremmm: that would be super, thanks
Kremmm: and be sure to visit http://katiekramerica.blogspot.com
Kremmm: thanks for playin!
A718niceguy: Yes and u shouldn't give out your sn if u don't wanna talk
Kremmm: yeah, thanks for the tip
A718niceguy: Ok shut up already bitch damn yo
Kremmm: hahahaha
Kremmm: sure thing, skippy
A718niceguy: Shut upppppp damn yo
Kremmm: ohhh, see, its not very fun when people keep iming you OVER AND OVER AND OVER when you just want them to leave you the fuck alone. you better fuckin learn your lesson and don't ever do this to another girl
“A718niceguy” signed off at 3:12:03 PM.

Movies are way sweet

2005-11-13T21:04:00.000-05:00

Top 5 reasons I love working on this movie

1. The teamsters. They are the coolest guys ever.
2. The guy to girl ratio is brilliantly in my favor. So many dudes, so little time.
3. I've gotten to see and spend time in parts of the city that I never really go to.
4. It's a wicked good conversation starter...."I'm a PA on the new Oliver Stone movie" sounds a lot better than "I work in the cafe at the MoMA".
5. I can put Paramount Pictures on my resume as a former employer. Ha. Thats sweet.

There are a lot more things that rule, like using walky talkies all day, the craft services tent, and the fact that I've added like 20 new phone numbers into my phone in the past couple days.

And the fact that I know little tidbits of gossip, like how yesterday, production was delayed a few hours because the director was too hungover to make the 7 am call time. Or that Nicholas Cage is listed as "J. Cadillac" on the call sheet (and is a total diva).

I could go on, but I'm not gonna. Not right now at least. Ya know why? I'm fuckin tired. That's why.

My life as a PA

2005-11-12T20:12:00.000-05:00

Thursday, PA'ed, 12 hour day, normal, average, not too shabby. Kinda cold out.

Friday, worked at MoMA, 9:30 am until 8pm. Afterwards went to tape my friend Bill's sketch comedy show (with a fancy 3 camera set up). Finished that around midnight.

Saturday, at midnight, I went to Grassroots tavern with the cast of the comedy show. Stayed there until 2:45 am, when I jumped into a taxi and headed to my 3 am crew call. I was on the set until 5:30 pm.

So, I haven't slept since about 8 am Friday mornin. I'm workin on about 36 hours without any shut eye. Bad news.

In other news, being a PA kicks so much ass. And today I met a nice boy who is 20 years old. More on that later.

I have a lot of crushes right now. Dammit. More on them later too. Okay, sleepin time. My brain needs it in a major way.

Movie stars are neato.

2005-11-10T19:22:00.000-05:00

So this here is a picture of Nicholas Cage and Michael Pena along with the two Port Authority officers they are portraying in the movie that I am working on. (The movie as of now is still untitled, but its working title is "September")

Just to settle the score here, yes, the movie is about September 11, but it's not some crazy typical Oliver Stone conspiracy theory film. It's the story of these guys who were the last two survivors pulled out of the wreckage of the towers. The two cops are always on the set and a lot of the police extras are actual officers who were there that day. Mind you, they weren't forced to agree to do this film. So, I hope that people won't jump to conclusions when they hear that Oliver Stone is making a movie about 9/11. Honestly, in the days I've been on set, I've seen nothing much the utmost reverence and respect from everyone on the cast and crew. No matter what, it's going to be an important and significant film. I hope everyone sees it when it comes out.

I TRIED to sell out!

2005-11-10T19:15:00.000-05:00

Ha!! Got this email in my inbox....

Hey Katie-

Thank you for signing up for this. I just re-reviewed your site. Unfortunately, as stated on the sign-up page, our campaigns are invitation only. Our clients request that we only work with websites with specific targeting. This is also why you may have not been given content for other campaigns.

I apologize for any inconvenience and we really appreciate your desire to support the campaigns, but at this time I need to ask you to please remove the content from your website as soon as possible.

There are campaigns where the client likes us to focus on individual blogs, though, so I will make sure to contact you for those campaigns!

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Kind regards,

Karin Chamberlain

Awwwwww, the blog has been denied!! Guess I better take my ads down. Or should I?

Holy freakin MySpace

2005-11-10T19:00:00.000-05:00

Man, so when it comes to shit like Friendster, MySpace, FaceBook, etc, I'm of the mindset "The more the merrier." So basically, you wanna be my friend on there? Cool. Bring it on. But then dudes like this come after me. Yeesh.

Oh yeah, I saved this conversation with Kato from last night to. Maybe it will settle the score. But probably not.

Kremmm: i'm the smartest high chick ever
iikka: yes
iikka: yes you are
iikka: i idolize you
Kremmm: hahaha
iikka: (when you're high)
Kremmm: man, i wish i could blog this convo
iikka: fuckin dude
iikka: i will BITCH SLAP you
iikka: i mean i know i deserve it
iikka: b/c like its what you said youd do
iikka: but you're my friend
Kremmm: hahahaah
iikka: and you're high
Kremmm: i'm not going to
Kremmm: that's why i said "i wish:
iikka: so you're not going to
Kremmm: no
iikka: man i know it is a good convo
Kremmm: but i'm sure as fuck gonna blog this other convo i'm having
iikka: like if only people who werent involved could read it
iikka: who are you fucking?
Kremmm: hahahaha
iikka: i mean talking with thats blog worthy
Kremmm: nooooo
iikka: same difference right?
iikka: ill have im sex with you
Kremmm: some douchebag from m y space just imed me
Kremmm: hahaha
Kremmm: whassys?
iikka: ooooh baby you're soooo wet
iikka: how bout i tel lyou what to say to him
iikka: and you HAVE to say it
iikka: itll be like that letterman skit they do
iikka: with the guy from the deli
iikka: except i dont own a deli
Kremmm: hahahaha no
iikka: and im not pakistani or whatever
iikka: youre no fun
iikka: i want the fun kramer back
Kremmm: hahaha
Kremmm: okay
Kremmm: yeah i think i am gonna fuck with him
Kremmm: i need to tell you what he's saying
iikka: what are yall talkin bout?
iikka: how bout you send him pics of your boobs
Kremmm: this is sooooo delightfully funny
Kremmm:
{{{A718niceguy: Wats up katie?
Kremmm: hey, nothin
Kremmm: is this ja rule?
A718niceguy: This is tyrone from myspace
Kremmm: ohhh, hey
Kremmm: what's up
A718niceguy: Naw this is his bro
A718niceguy: U wanna talk to ja?
Kremmm: haha, nah, it's aight
A718niceguy: O aight
A718niceguy: Kikik}}}}}
iikka: see sometimes i wish i had myspace cuz i could have random convos like that
Kremmm:
{{{{Kremmm: so unfortantely, i'm about to go to bed cuz i gotta work at 5 am
A718niceguy: O werd
A718niceguy: Damn I just got your sn now ma
A718niceguy: So u online a lot ma?
Kremmm: yeah, i'm around a lot
Kremmm: usually whenever i'm sitting at home, hanging out, drinking, smoking pot
Kremmm: i have my laptop
A718niceguy: Wow werd
A718niceguy: U smoke a lot of that lala ma?}}}}}}}}

iikka: omg im going to throw up that raw cookie i just ate
iikka: u smoke a lot of that lala ma?
Kremmm: becvause of this convo?
iikka: im soooo using that as my pickup line
Kremmm:
{{{{{{Kremmm: nah, not really, i only smoked tonight so i could fall asleep early
Kremmm: but it's pretty fun to do once in a while
A718niceguy: Lol o werd that's wats up ma}}}}}}}}

iikka: okay we're in the fucking (in the conan voice) in the yeeeear two thousand so no v's as u's
Kremmm:
{{{{{A718niceguy: So are u single still?
Kremmm: yeah, i'll always been single. i don't like having a boyfriend, but rather a man harem
Kremmm: a flock of ready and able dudes}}}}}}

iikka: ill always been?
Kremmm: ha
Kremmm: i'm high
Kremmm: that's why
iikka: are you going ghetto cuza this nigga
Kremmm: HAHAHA
Kremmm: STOP IT
iikka: YOU ARE
iikka: i bet you're gesturing right now
iikka: throwing east coast IN THA HIZZZOUSE!
Kremmm: HAHAHA
Kremmm: STOP
Kremmm: this is so funny
iikka: i have a pleasant new flower here on my desk
Kremmm: i mean, i think it's retarded when guys call me "ma" but when they are typing it
iikka: yellow
Kremmm: even worse
iikka: yeah ma
iikka: hey ma
iikka: was up ma
iikka: so we can takea ride toniiiight
iikka: isnt that that camron song
iikka: and didnt that dude just get shot
iikka: wheres this dude from?
iikka: ask him if hes down with e-40
Kremmm: phone.... philly boy
iikka: oh great, now you're high and talking to niggas and asian wiggas and having phone sex
iikka: this couldnt make me lose my cookie any worse

and then he came back again tonight....

A718niceguy: Wats up
Kremmm: hey there
A718niceguy: How u been today sexy?
Kremmm: tired, i've been up since like 4 am, and working since 5 am
A718niceguy: O werd damn ma
A718niceguy: Why thow?
Kremmm: i'm working on the set of a movie, and those are just the hours we gotta work
A718niceguy: O werd wat movie thow?
Kremmm: it doesn't have a name yet, but it's starring nicholas cage
A718niceguy: O werd damn that's wats up
A718niceguy: So wat do u do again?
Kremmm: i do all kinds of stuff. right now i'm a production assistant
A718niceguy: Mmm werd yea I need a woman like u ;-)
Kremmm: what do you do?
A718niceguy: Construction
A718niceguy: But u haven't messed with all your co works rightM
A718niceguy: ?
A718niceguy: Or a lot of guys in general?
Kremmm: haha, none of my coworkers
Kremmm: not yet at least
A718niceguy: Wow wat u mean not yet?
A718niceguy: Wait have u been with a lot of guys thow?
Kremmm: what do you consider a lot
A718niceguy: 20
Kremmm: then no
Kremmm: not quite
A718niceguy: O so how many?
Kremmm: 17
A718niceguy: Damn lolol
A718niceguy: So u fucked 17 and u don't think there is nuthin wrong with that?
Kremmm: nope
Kremmm: not at all
Kremmm: do you think there's something wrong with that?
A718niceguy: Uhuh well not if u dont
A718niceguy: I'm just asking cause u didn't look like u fuck a lot of guys/
Kremmm: really
Kremmm: why is that
A718niceguy: U looked inacent
A718niceguy: Inocent*
Kremmm: how many girls have you been with?
A718niceguy: 5
A718niceguy: For now
Kremmm: how old are you?
Kremmm: were they all like long term girlfriends?
A718niceguy: 22 monday
A718niceguy: Naw 3 were beat toys
Kremmm: well, maybe by the time you're my age, you'll have found some more beat toys
A718niceguy: Lol well can I have u as my new beat toy ;-)
Kremmm: i dunno, you got a big schlong?
A718niceguy: Lol well I've been told its too fat
A718niceguy: Size wise I never got told its too small
Kremmm: interesting
A718niceguy: I guess
Kremmm: yeah, so i don't really find the need to nail guys that i meet on the internet
Kremmm: especially ones that already think i'm a ho
A718niceguy: So u meet a guy a fuck the first day?
A718niceguy: I didn't say that
A718niceguy: U said u fucked 17 lolol I just went along
Kremmm: true true
A718niceguy: So u were kidding u haven't fucked 17?
Kremmm: oh i have, i fucked 'em good. but if i were you, i wouldn't hold your breath the be #18 on that list
A718niceguy: Ooooo naw
A718niceguy: I just asked
A718niceguy: If I can then that's wats up but I'm not saying u a hoe
Kremmm: well alright then
A718niceguy: I don't know wat u are but a person
A718niceguy: If u like sex that's cool
A718niceguy: But do u fuck every guy the first day?
Kremmm: of course not
Kremmm: not very many of them actually
Kremmm: most are guys i've known for a while
Kremmm: or at least a few days
A718niceguy: Ooo aight
A718niceguy: So do u give head?
Kremmm: hahahaha
Kremmm: yes
Kremmm: do you?
A718niceguy: Yup and I'm good at it I've been told
Kremmm: well right on
A718niceguy: Yup
A718niceguy: So do u swallow?
Kremmm: sometimes
A718niceguy: Werd
A718niceguy: So wats good can I chill with u?
Kremmm: nah dude, i don't pick up guys from the internet
A718niceguy: Naw but I'm trying to pick u up from it
A718niceguy: And were u live manhantan?
Kremmm: east harlem
A718niceguy: So its not picking up from the internet its just getting to know eachother and chillin one day
Kremmm: riiight
A718niceguy: So u never fucked with anybody from myspace?
Kremmm: nope
A718niceguy: O ok
A718niceguy: Now u tell me
A718niceguy: So why hollar back at a pr/blk homi from it if u wouldn't wanna chill with him from there?
Kremmm: ahh, see, i didn't realize that responding to three myspace messages to say hello meant that i wanted to suck your dick
Kremmm: my mistake
Kremmm: oh well
Kremmm: now i know
A718niceguy: Lol
A718niceguy: Naw I'm saying
A718niceguy: U said u like sex so wats good
A718niceguy: Not we can't be friends but why be only online friends
A718niceguy: I have pepz on myspace and famz on my page
A718niceguy: U make it sound like fucking with someone from it is nasty
Kremmm: nah, i'm just saying that if i fucked every guy that hit on me online, i'd be even more of a ho
Kremmm: so i just don't do it
A718niceguy: O wow so u think of your self as a hoe ma?
Kremmm: hahaha, well, i ain't fuckin anybody for money
Kremmm: so no
Kremmm: i don't
A718niceguy: So wat do u think of your self?
Kremmm: i think i'm pretty fuckin awesome
Kremmm: that's what i think
Kremmm: also, i think i'm gonna go now
Kremmm: so adios
A718niceguy: Ok bye

Maybe I'm a bitch for posting this. But whatever. I don't care a whole lot about that. I thought it was pretty funny, especially when he corrected his spelling with another misspelled word. (Did I just spell "misspell" wrong?)
Anyway, a lot of stuff is funny when you've been awake since 3:30 in the morning.